Anyone else?

I started going to a new ward in a different church building a couple months ago (sorry if that doesn't make much sense). It took me 2 months to start going to church the full time because I didn't know anyone and one time I had to leave early because I started sobbing suddenly for no reason (probably because I became so overwhelmed I just broke).

After a bit I was able to make a friend and she was super nice and went to activities with me but of course, with my luck, she ended up moving 2 weeks ago to go to school out of state.

I'm have a lot of trouble talking to people there. I get so freaking scared because it's a single adult ward and I'm so scared someone I don't know is going to ask me out before I even get to know them!

But, does anyone else feel like you put off a mean vibe to protect themselves when you're anxious? I become very short and I tend to look anywhere but the person and I don't try to be mean it I think I come off that way.

And does anyone else really really want someone to notice you because you want to feel like there are people out there who actually care about what you're struggling with, but you also don't want any attention at all??? I'm so stuck and idk what to do. I'm too scared to talk to others and I don't want people to talk to me but I also do!! UGH I hate it. I just want to live my life without my head getting in the way 😣😟