Fake
I'm fake but I'm not a bad person. I fake a smile because other people can't handle what I'm really thinking, what I'm harboring, what's happened to me that I'd rather not burden them with knowing could happen to them, how unfair life is, how it makes me want to cry, how it'd probably make them want to cry too if they knew. I rehearse conversations in my head so I project the positive vibes I want to send other people instead of burdening everyone with what's really going on. Yet I'm the one dealing with the rumors and rejection, the talk that I'm hiding something. Yea, I am hiding something. I'm hiding the fact that this has happened a million times before and every time I have to fake a little more to hold it in. I'm not ashamed though. I'm not the one who should be ashamed.
This was my attitude until pretty recently. It's not anymore though. Sorry not sorry if who I am offends anyone. I'm not the one who should be sorry.
@igetcha It sounds like you have gone through some pretty tough situations in life. I'm glad your attitude is more positive today and I hope you are even happier today! I see it's been a little while since you posted this, how are you doing today? 
P.S. You never have to apologize for ranting and expressing your emotions here. That's what 7cups is all about! 
@KindListening I'm doing really good. Thanks for asking :)