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Fear of sleeping in case something bad happens

User Profile: impartialHuman387
impartialHuman387 June 5th, 2020

This might sound crazy to most people, I feel crazy just thinking about it but I hate my boyfriend going to sleep. I have this overwhelming fear that something bad is going to happen whilst he's asleep. I think it may stem from my Dad passing away whilst I was asleep when I was little. We argue about it a lot because he obviously needs to sleep at night but even once he's gone to sleep I force myself to stay awake until I fall asleep so I can make sure he's okay. It's affecting me a lot because I stay awake most of the night and then sleep most of the day (Im off work due to Covid so have nothing worthy of getting up for) and it's straining our relationship. I dont want to feel like this but for as long as he could die in his sleep (which there will forever be a chance of) I think Im always going to be like this. I dont know how I'd label it, it might be anxiety but that might be a bit dramatic calling it anxiety, I have no idea.

Am I crazy?

2
User Profile: Jem7Cups
Jem7Cups June 9th, 2020

@impartialHuman387 no. You're not going crazy. You're experiencing anxiety as you really care about your boyfriend. It's totally natural ❤️ Have you spoken to someone about how you're feeling?

User Profile: EgoAddendum
EgoAddendum June 9th, 2020

@impartialHuman387

Your body and your brain remember the trauma of your father passing in his sleep. Even though you know better and can tell yourself everything is fine, having this reaction is perfectly understandable given the imprint of the memory left behind in your body and mind from his passing.

Calling it anxiety isn't dramatic, that's a very valid reaction and it's very insightful of you to connect it to that past experience.