Heartbroken :(
Hi all,
I met this girl I really like. (Fyi i'm a pansexual woman). We only had a first date and we were planning on a second one. She asked me what my favorite flower is, and I said sunflower and she gave me a sunflower. This morning I got a message from her saying she is busy with work/internships and can't see me again. :( I had a really heavy bout of depression today. I've had SA since I was in middle school. I'm 26 now and still haven't had any relationship. When I was in high school and college I couldn't even say hello to someone I liked at all. The past two years or so I have been trying harder to ask people out for coffee, but I've only gotten rejections and heartbreaks and still no relationship. I get so lonely sometimes it feels like my bones are all broken and my body aches. Online dating makes things a little bit easier, but it can be flaky and hard to get anyone to meet up even. I feel completely broken right now. I feel pessimistic that anyone will ever want me, but I know I have to keep trying. I just feel so exhausted. Lots of other things in my life are shit, and this girl was really positive and kind and gave me hope that I could have a sort of santuary from my depression with her, but now there's nothing. :( :(
-Day
@Daydreamer47
I'm so sorry things didn't work out with your date. I know it's hard feeling like you're on your own again but it just means that she wasn't the one. However, you must always remember, that people alone cannot fix depression. It's like putting a band-aid over a festering wound if you allow your emotions to be controlled by whether someone desires you or not. What are some things that make you happy? Do you enjoy being alone? It's important to have things in your life (outside of others) that brings you happiness. It's also important to try to figure out why you feel like you need someone in order to provide a sanctuary outside of your depression.
I hope this gave you a little to think about and helped, good luck and take care! 
@KindListening Well I have physical and emotional needs which have not been met for 26 years. I appreciate this post, but I am tired of people saying things like "it's okay to be single." It makes me feel very angry and annoyed. if you don't have my experience, please don't speak for my needs or try to give advice.
it's like me saying "i feel hungry, I need to eat, but I am struggling to find food." Instead of helping me find food, someone comes along and says "Wow your needs for food seem ridiculous. why do you get so upset when you don't have food? Have you tried feeling grateful about your life with no food?"
i wouldn't have depression if i didn't have SA and struggle to connect with others and build relationships. i literally have depression because my needs for connection with others aren't met. please stop erasing that people actually DO need connection with others. if you would be content being a hermit in the woods by yourself, fine, but please don't speak for what others need. I feel angry because this makes me feel like you are suggesting there is something wrong with me and my needs, instead of understanding that I am depressed because my needs aren't met, NOT because my needs are wrong. In the future, please ASK how I feel and how you can help instead of giving advice.
@KindListening Why do listeners think their role is to "teach" members?? I'm the one WITH depression. Excuse me I am an expert on depression because I have lived it. So don't come to me saying "Depression is like this, depression is like that. Depression will be solved by doing this and not that.." Why don't you take a seat and try learning from ME instead because I am the one LIVING with it. I have survived until now in my own skin based on what I have learned and MY expertise. Check yourself please.
@Daydreamer47
Hey Daydreamer, I'm really sorry if I offended you with anything I said. I do believe we know ourselves better than anyone else, I'm sorry if my post appeared otherwise. I was trying to point out that people aren't always reliable and I was trying to see if you had any other sanctuaries in your life that brought you happiness or a relief out of your depression.
I really do care about what you're saying and your feelings are valid. I'm sorry if you felt like I was invalidating them.
@KindListening thank you.
I'm really sorry the things went wrong for you. But never lose heart. Read this:
Never do this, never lose the small joys! Enjoy your life, every single moment... Maybe, it's just a tough period of your life. Everything will change soon, believe me. I personally found my Soulmate via asian dating website , when I really didn't even expect. I wish you all the best!
