How to engage with people in class/feel more comfortable working in groups
I am in college, and 1-2 years older then my peers, and to top it off I'm a transfer student. I've managed to strike up a conversation with a few people at the end one of my classes last year and participate with people in the class rather than the professor. Everyone was shocked that I wasn't super uptight! It felt really good to connect with people, but now it's a new sememster with new classes and I feel like I'm back to square one. In both class I know people from previous classes, but I couldn't work up the courage to sit next to any of them.
These classes are much smaller and will invovle a lot of group work, so I really want to get along with everyone but I feel so awkward trying to start conversations in class! I feel like I'm so isolated from the rest of my classmates who have friends to talk to during lulls in the class. I am so frustrated with myself, I came into last class earlier with the intent of sitting down and speaking to someone but chickened out and sat alone again.
I also want to get better at communicating with people in my groups, because I know I end up doing a lot of extra work simply because I felt too anxious to properly communicate with them about dividing the project and meeting with them to work on it. One class is just 7 people and I feel so isolated since many of them are already friends or aquaintences. I do know one girl and she's nice, and I did work up the courage to sit next to her, I just am at a loss as to how to start up a conversation. I just feel so scared that I might say something that will make them think I'm dumb, weird, or clingy. Once I get started talking, I'm so anxious that I talk a lot and really fast...and I fear that will make people not want to talk to me again.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!
I can relate to you perfectly, but with time I learned to eventually work up the courage it takes to talk to someone. You might be surprised that people are willing to actually talk to you even if you're 'awkward' just by starting any conversation with them, being nice, and even saying random things. The easiest thing you can do is sit next to someone else who is alone at the moment and just start talking to them about the class. Ask them what they think so far and how it's going for them, etc. Especially if you already know someone in the class even a little this approach should be easier. Let things flow from there and you'll see it's not that hard after all. Just try to relax and not think about it too much, after all they are human too and you never know if they might feel the same way or felt like that at some point in their lives. Best of luck! :)
