How to stop being so freaking paranoid????
Hi all, I'm really paranoid a lot because of my anxiety. I grew up watching murder mysteries and crime shows and horror movies; I love the subjects and the shows so much I even almost went into criminal justice for a career.
But, I get so anxious at night. Even with my family home, I have to check the hallways outside my bedroom to make sure no one is inside the house waiting to hurt me. This has become a routine and if I hear ANY noise, I assume I'm going to get hurt or killed. But, if I hear my sister is awake or if i hear another on of my family members cough or sneeze, I immediately feel so much better and the worrying goes away.
I also take night classes at school, and I get so paranoid on the train ride home. I'm constantly on alert and after I get on the train, I'm so tense and constantly look behind me to make sure I'm not being followed. It's almost as if I'm expecting something horrible to happen to me! I know it's good to be aware of your surroundings to a certain extent, but I think I'm worrying so much more than I need to be. Every single person that walks past me, I assume is going to try and grab me, or steal something off me, and I actually live in a very safe area! I've considered taking self defense classes just in case but I'm too scared to. Help??? Does anyone else do this?
I meant to say "I'm constantly on alert and after I get off the train...."
@Wanderer21
I feel almost the same except I'm always worrying and scared that it's my family and pets that are gonna die. I live far from them and only see them on weekends but I always feel bothered when I'm away even if they are all fine and alive. Most of the time I feel like waiting for a message or a call saying someone dies. And it haunts me all day until I can't function properly anymore and would have difficulty breathing. Sometimes i feel like im gonna lose my mind because of it.
When I'm at home and someone is sleeping, I take the time to check if that someone is still breathing. And I'd feel really bad and scared and whatever. Then I'd start having these butterflies in my stomach and won't sleep at all.
This is kind of wordy, appologies!
@Wanderer21 Wow, I can relate to this post, and am glad you brought it up. It was helpful to read your story, and see comments from people who also experience this kind of hyper-vigilance. These kind of fears can feel totally over the top, and it's helpful to be reminded that I'm not alone. I also have a fascination with true crime and other unfortunate and disturbing parts of the human experience, and it certainly doesn't help ease my worries.
@vroomvroom Totally agree with you about keeping away from triggers and scary media. I've even developed new fears after reading about tragic accidents and the like. There is a lot of power in admitting to myself that I'm a sensitive person, and that scary movies are a bad idea for me.
In terms of coping with these thoughts and feelings, it can really help to talk about them in the moment with a friend or family member if it's an option. Sometimes just saying out loud to another person what I had been worrying about can help me to realize how unlikely and dramatic my fears are. But it doesn't always work.
The problem is that a lot of these paranoid thoughts are about unlikely, yet entirely possible scenarios. These are tragic events that actually occur in real life, and so it is easy to rationalize the need for staying on high alert. In this case, I try to focus on staying present and doing my best to enjoy the here and now.
If something awful really *is* going to happen, then it would serve me well try and enjoy this moment as much as I possibly can.
Being OK and experiencing a moment of joy can be a trigger for paranoid thoughts like this. It can help to try and turn paranoid thoughts into a trigger for gratitude.
For example:
Sharing a beautiful moment with my partner may trigger intense fears about how horrible it would be to loose them. These fears take me right out of the moment.
I can use this moment of fear to re-direct my thinking back to the present moment. When I do this, I realize that my partner is right here in front of me and that while a tragic outcome is possible, I *haven't* lost them yet.
Realizing that the Horrible Thing hasn't actually happened can help me to appreciate the Wondering Thing happening right now. It helps me to see that any time with my partner is rather precious. It reminds me to practice gratitude, and to appreciate every good moment I have.
*Wonderful thing
Oh man. Where do I start haha. I've never been diagnosed with anxiety. But ever since I was little I was always so scared to talk to people I didn't know and even my own family. It took everything in me just to ask my mom for something or to do something. Fast forward through awful relationships. Ive been cheated on and lied to in every relationship ive been in. And part of me thinks its me but I've always done anything for my girl. I've tried to give them everything they need and want. But now I'm in my longest relationship by several months (going on 7 months) and i love her. It took me a lot of alone time and thinking to realize that. But I've always had this feeling that she's going to do something bad. It's a burden I've carried through my last few relationships. I can't suppress it no matter what I do. And that fear of her doing something has led to me being kinda controlling and I'm extremely analytical of everything she does. I'm terribly paranoid. My heart says to stop being so controlling, that she loves me and won't hurt me but my brain says to keep being this way don't risk it. And I honestly have no idea what to do. I want to have this feeling managed before it ruins us
That's why I eat medicine, bc I get so damn paranoid. But that's bc of my schizofrenia :/