Informal conversations

I have a case of social anxiety since childhood. I have learnt to hide it better as I've grown more mature but it still is a big obstacle. Surprisingly, formal conversations don't bother me so much because there is a predetermined way of doing and saying things. I find I'm not so anxious if the outcome and the method is fixed. Similarly, I love spending time around my family and very small circle of friends. My social anxiety resurfaces when having informal conversations. Informal conversations with people who are not family or very close friends. These conversations can be anything from personal life to pop culture. I am scared I'll say something because of which people will judge me or reject me in these scenarios. This leads me to avoid social gatherings as much as I can. Sometimes, I don't have the option of doing that so I push myself through. I have a few friends who understand and don't leave my side in these cases. I love them for it. But I want to rise above my fear of judgement and rejection of people. Having had this disorder since childhood, I feel this would one of the greatest achievements in my life. Thanks for hearing me out!