I sabotaged my only friendship
I have had one real friend the past year and a half, and she needed a place to stay while she found an apartment.i let her stay with me in my microstudio (very small space) for three weeks, and she wanted to hang out every day. I was kind of surprised, but she felt like a sister to me. Then she found her place and cut off most contact, I think we have hung out like 3 times since she left, but she works a few blocks away from me, and it takes days for her to text back. When I asked her about it, she said she just doesn't have the time or energy for me, and that she enjoys alone time. I felt devastated, and said maybe I should push you away then because I don't enjoy being alone as much as you do. She said I was right, and so now I don't have anyone. (I have no other friends or family because of abuse and trauma) Does anyone think this friendship is salvageable, or am I too much for her?
i honestly think this is something you have to let go, for your own mental health and sanity. we often obsess over these things and blame ourselves for things we probably couldn’t control, you did not sabotage the friendship !!! people grow apart, and want different things and to me it sounds like she may have used you whilst she found her own feet. my advice is focus on productivity. do what you need to do to better your future and yourself and you will find people along the way, better people that are willing to make time for you and understand you without making you feel like less of a person. 🙂
@redAcai9692 Sometimes people can say stuff they don't intend to say.
I think the friendship can be saved but there does have to be agreements between you both for it to work.
@redAcai9692 I am sorry that this has occurred to you, it can be hard to lose a connection like this, I have lost close friendships over the past few years. There are 2 ways I would approach this, the first is by trying to 1 new friend, whilst this may sound weird, it's better to find someone you can build a close attachment to than many friends who you barely know. The second way is to try and keep an open mind with the friend you had but keep the distance, what I mean by this is that you never know what will happen with this individual, whether or not she will try to reform that relationship with you or try to separate from you. I hope this helps!
If you guys really were best friends then I think it can be salvaged. I tend to push away my best friend too, but she never lets me. You need to find someone who has all the energy in the world for you. I hope you find someone soon. :)