Paralyzed with fear just thinking about what to do...
A little backstory... I have a brother who is 13 years older than I am, which means we haven't lived in the same house since I was 5. We aren't close. I see him maybe once a year and even though we are family, due to our large age range, or maybe because we're both terrible with talking to and interacting with people we've never really gotten to know each other. He's my brother, but he's also essentially a stranger.
Well last night he extended an olive branch. He invited me to go to a football game of our college alma mater (yes we went to the same college many years apart). I have been in a constant state of anxiety since he text and invited me.
Why is he reaching out now?
If I don't go am I a bad sister?
Maybe he's going through a rough patch in his life and needs support, shouldn't I be there for him?
How am I going to get through an entire football game with him solo?
What are we going to talk about?
What if I don't look like I'm having enough fun and he takes it personally?
If I say no to this request, will he ever reach out and try to hang out with me again?
He already lifes 1,500ish miles away from me so it's not like we're able to just meet up for coffee sometimes.
I have no idea whether or not I should go. I have no idea what I should do. I'm paralyzed with fear and I can't turn the volumn down on all of my constant questions and worrying.
I think I'm looking for advice on what to do, or maybe how to feel less anxious about the situation? I have no idea. I'm at a loss. It feels like my brain is sinking.
@turquoiseSail580
This sounds like a tough situation for you. It can be super scary meeting up with someone you havent seen in a long time, especially if they're family! That being said, you should definitly go for it. It sounds like he misses you and wants to catch up.
A football game sounds like a great place to start in all honesty. You can come up with a lot of conversational topics based on the game, and if the conversation starts to lull, you can focus on the game itself and not feel as much pressure to talk. Other than that, maybe it could help to come up with a mental list of things you could ask him... like stuff about his own college experience. If things get too overwhelming you can always slink off to a bathroom to regain your composure.
Also... be honest with him! Let him know you're nervous about seeing him again, I bet in some magnitude he feels the same way. Try to fight back against all those negative possibilities your brain is creating with what could go RIGHT!
