Talkative and quite confident yet so self-concious and anxious?
Hey everyone!
I just wanted to know how I can stop being so self-concious when I am talking to someone or even walking past someone. I know people are not going to do or say anything bad and won't kill me, yet I still cannot get rid of this nagging anxiety which comes each time I walk past someone. I walk past a person and just before they pass me I slowly become more and more self-aware and feel anxiety (heart rate increase and eyes watering) and my breathing increases. When I walk past them the anxiety subsides but I feel annoyed each time it happens because it has happened so many times yet I cannot seem to tell my brain that the anxiety is unnecessary because I am not being attacked and I should know this because I was past people everyday and very rarely do they ever speak to me and never have I been attacked. Also whilst I can talk to people, my mind wanders off and suddenly I become self concious and feel awkward when talking or looking at them. Can someone tell me what I can do to prevent this happening?
Perhaps meditation could benefit you. I say this because during meditation we become extremely self-conscious, yet in a good way. We face our attention inside instead of outside to learn more about ourselves and become more connected and at peace. Now when you're in these situations where you become very self-conscious when you're close to people obviously it's not voluntary and it's not pleasant either. Maybe by practicing becoming self-conscious with your own free will you can change the experience into a positive thing.
A quicker 'solution' would be to focus your attention outside of yourself. Listen to music or pay extra attention to the things you see, the nature around you for example. Occupy your mind with day dreams or ideas so it's to busy focusing on that to become overly self-conscious.
@Cheeney Mediation helped me a lottt, I see where you're coming from.
@Dan12346
Hey there!
You mentioned in the title you are talkative and quite confident but I don't see it mentioned anywhere your post so I'm a bit confused.
What kind of people are those you feel good around and who are those who bring you such intense anxiety? Are they strangers, friends? What is the difference between the two types of people/situations/connections?
Psychology tends to identify especially those who are talkative as being more self-critical/self-concious than the rest.
I've always been very self-aware to the point where I thought the noise I make when I eat chips disturbs people. I was so anxious and scared of what people might think about me if I make silly faces, "wrong" moves etc. Yeah...
Just try to identify what is it you are so afraid of? What could help you in those moments to feel better? Brainstorm each of these situations until you get to an answer you feel comfortable with. Self-talk is really important. It takes practice. Some situations may never be easy to bear but it's not gonna be this terrible always!
