Undateable

Hi

It's kind of funny, I'm a 20 year old guy withthe same issue. I haven't hooked up with anybody in my two years of college so far.. and I feel like the main reasons are because of my social anxiety and total lackof self-esteem/confidence. A lot of the things you posted really resonate with me. I wish I could tell you it gets better, and that one day when you're doing what you love maybe the right person will come along.. but we'resame boat. Sometimes it's just good to know you're not alone, even when it doesn't feel like it. I totally understand what you were saying about how you just want to feel loved. I think in the end love is all wereally need tofeel. Sometimes seeing your friends that are inintimate relationships can bring you downand make you feel like you'll always be alone. It can beso overwhelming. Do you everthinkthe right person might be walking past you but you're too shy to try and start a conversation, and that thought only makes you even more depressed? Idk. And I'm sure you know what it's like.. when you try and reach out to the people you trust most to talk about this stuff, but sometimes it's just too consistent or heavy that you don't want them to feel as low as you. I just hate knowing that I have an endless capacity to love, but nosignificant other toexpress it towards. We're around so many people every day, but somehow I find a way to belittle myself and never initiate a conversation. Sometimes I feel like I am going to be alone the rest of my life too. There's like a million other things I want to say and sorry if I am rambling about myself so much, I just want you to know you're not alone.

I started an account just to see this type of stuff. I'll tell you dear, I'm very confident and in college. I'm the class clown and popular wherever I go at school. The thing is I still have trouble with romantic stuff with girls. It's a very hard thing I've found. I'm sure someone older has told you that you'll meet that special someone, it just takes time. I hear that all the time too. I wonder sometimes if this time that I'm alone is meant for me to learn something about myself that those in relationships aren't learning. Maybe there isn't some higher natural order to this whole relationship thing. It's scary to think that there isn't some supernatural matchmaker in the sky making sure we don't die alone. Or maybe that there's something that people like us are doing wrong that those in relationships just have a natural knack for. My heart is searching, scavenging and scouring for that feeling of a meaningful relationship. And it hurts to keep going. It can sometimes feel like being stranded in a dessert and you wonder how long it will be until you find the end of your suffering, either by dehydration or by finding that oasis. Well, don't worry. There's nothing wrong with your heart love.

I've been through a lot of what you're describing. I'm 23 and I didn't have my first relationship until I was 21. I don't know how bad your autism situation is, but I do have mild anxiety issues and extreme social awkwardness. I don't know how much else to tell you except you're not alone, and there are plenty of guys out there for you to date (even though some of them will turn out to be jerks anyway). Being friend-zoned sucks, I spent three years of high school in the friend zone and I know it is hard to just approach people who you haven't already established trust with, but maybe you can meet people while you're doing stuff with your friends. You've still got a lot of time to figure this stuff out, you'll be okay :)

So, I'm only 17. But I feel like everyone around me thinks I'm weird and 'undateable'... I have never even been able to hold a friend relationship with a guy. Now, (and I know this isn't how it is, but anxiety takes over a subject and that's the end of that...) I'm afraid that when I go to college, I'll be even more unwanted. That no one wants a 20 year old girl that has never even had a first kiss..! What should I do?