Understanding of Social Anxiety

I have social anxiety and my main concerns are about looking anxious or foolish and because of that and feeling this way I fear making people uncomfortable and anxious as well. What has helped me personally has been acceptance and commitment therapy and mindfulness. These have helped me develop a new relationship with my thoughts and emotions. I've learned that my anxiety, thoughts, and emotions don't define who I am.

Living with agoraphobia (social anxiety) is horrific. I have never been so fearful in my entire life. Simple things such as going shopping become difficult tasks - thank god for online shopping and next day delivery!

I had CBT for a while, but my experience is that it is only effective whilst the therapy is taking place. I always relapse. Some worse than others. But it is impossible to maintain.

There is a wide range of different kinds of anxiety out there, one which @fluffyunicorns84 mentioned would be social anxiety. There is many different kinds of social anxiety, all the different kinds can affect a person in a different way. No kind of social anxiety is the same for two people.

What causes anxiety disorders-

The cause of anxiety disorders is currently unknown, anxiety disorders like other forms of mental health disorders are NOT a result of personal weakness. Scientists are carrying out their research into mental health problems in general and it is starting to become clear that many of these disorders are caused by a combination of factors including changes in the brain and environmental stresses.

Anxiety disorders can be caused by a chemical imbalance in the human body. Studies have shown that severe or long lasting stress can change the balance of these chemicals in the human brain that help to control our moods. Other studies have shown that people with certain types of anxiety disorders have changes in certain brain structures that can control their memory or mood. Studies have also shown that in some cases anxiety disorders can run in families meaning that they can be inherited from one or both parents.

Selective Mutism-

One kind of social anxiety that I would like to focus on would be selective mutism, or known as the fear of talking. Selective mutism is a social anxiety disorder that can affect children and in some cases (Mine included) it can carry on into adulthood.

For a child who has selective mutism there is a wide range of help provided for them through schools and family doctors. However for adults this is not the case. Selective mutism is thought to be a childhood social anxiety condition.

What is selective muitsm?

- Selective mutism normally develops during early childhood, IE- when a child enters a new social environment such a pre-school/nursery.

- Selective mutism is more common in girls and those of ethnic minority populations

- Children and adults who have selective mutism are literally unable to speak, rather than the child/adult voluntarily refusing to do so.

- If left untreated, it can carry on into adulthood

- The most effective form of treating selective mutism is behavioural therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy

Source NHS- https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/selective-mutism/Pages/Introduction.aspx

What causes selective Mutism?

This cause of this is not always clear, however it is known that selective muitsm is associated with anxiety. It is possible that the child will have inherited a tendency to experience from a member of their family.

Lots of children can become distressed when they become separated from their parents and therefore transfer this anxiety to the adults who then try to setting them into a new setting. If a child/Adult has a speech and language disorder or a hearing impairment this in turn can make speaking more stressful.

In some cases children can have trouble processing sensory information such as a loud noise and jostling from crowds, this is known as sensory integration dysfunction. This can make a person ‘shut down and unable to speak when they become overwhelmed in a busy environment.

When mutism occurs as a symptom of post- traumatic stress it follows a different pattern and the person suddenly stops talking in environments where they previously had no difficulty. However, this type of speech withdrawal can lead to Selective Mutism if the triggers are not addressed and the person develops a more general anxiety about communication.

What is it like?

For each person this will differ, for myself. Its a living nightmare. You want to talk, but you cant. Its almost like someone has their hand over your mouth, or your lips have been super glued shut. Your in a satiation were you want to speak, but you cant. With me this leads to me getting far to frustrated for my own good. It can also lead to loneliness.

Ill end this hear with this, each person is valuable and important. Please remember that if your reading this and you have anxiety, your not alone. There is an army of listeners willing to help you (me included!)

Thank you for all your contributions, hopefully together we can provide a insight on what social anxiety is for us. Maybe we could also discuss positive ways on how we cope with it?

@suzanne That is great over view of mutism thank you...

Hi everyone. Currently, I'm scared of initiating conversations with my friends over text messaging. I feel like I will bother them, even though I'm fine with them initiating conversations with me. I'm terrified of initiating conversations with anyone over text and I don't remember the last time when I was the one to start. There are time when I'm completely fine with being alone and sometimes I don't notice that I haven't talked to any of my friends until a long time has passed. For example, just today I noticed I haven't talked to any of my friends in at least a week, and some three weeks. I don't know if that's considered long or short in comparison to others. Can someone help me understand? I'm not sure if I have social anxiety or something else.

I think to much about my words and embarrassing myself, I'm afraid of myself and what others may feel about me... it's a constant battle and my words just never seem to come out, they always fail me and this all leads to loneliness and there's no worse feeling than the thought of being alone.