my social anxiety is keeping me from getting help for it
I guess this is pretty self explanatory. so obviously I haven't been professionally diagnosed as I'm terrified of asking for any sort of mental health treatment, but I experience things pretty exactly aligned with extreme social anxiety and a little bit of agoraphobia. my mom has "threatened" (bc I think she sees it as me refusing to talk to people rather than me not being able to do so without crying) to send me to therapy several times but never goes through with it. but I think I need help? my mental health has gotten really really bad, in the past few months especially, but I don't know what to do. the thought of telling my mom scares me because I don't want her to change her opinion of me or be sad that I feel so awful all the time or get angry with me. But I also am too scared to approach a doctor on my own and the thought of having to talk to a therapist about personal problems makes me nauseous. I had to see a counselor shortly following a traumatic experience a few years back and it was horrible. I could barely bring myself to respond to questions let alone be open. And then comes my fear of being institutionalized. I know in most cases you can't be committed unless you consent but I'm afraid if I let something slip about my suicidal thoughts or something else I won't have the choice.
But I don't feel confident handling my situation alone. I don't even have friends to vent to. I just don't know what to do. I feel like something bad will happen if I don't seek help soon, but I don't know how to do that when I can't even make eye contact. If you got help for social anxiety, could you give me some kind of advice?
@itsrory
Hello, itsrory. First of all, I am very glad you reached out and wrote this, it was very courageous of you! I am sorry to hear that you have to be going through that. I can understand that it can be very scary to seek help, especially when having social anxiety. I think you do not have to worry that your mom would change the opinion of you if you told her or that she would be angry because she is your mother and mothers love unconditionally. She would probably try her best to support you (because she tries so hard to persuade you to get the therapy as she wants you to feel better). I can understand that you feel nauseous even when thinking about talking to the psychologist, especially as your previous experience went horribly as you described it. Personally, I feel it is very common for a person to have difficulty talking or answering the questions at the beginning of the therapy, and to open up. However, a good therapist should always be patient and keep you going at your own pace. Regarding the institutionalization, I can completely get what you mean. They would probably investigate how serious it is if you mentioned it but I think that if you would be honest with the therapist and explain the situation he/she would understand and do not force you to anything as it is quite understandable you feel this way when you have been suffering for so long! If you would like, you can contact me through a message and I could try to give you some specific techniques that you can try at home or we can at least talk a bit more. Take care and stay strong!