small talk/chats
anyone else really struggle with this stuff? i can crack a few jokes and i have a kinda dry sense of humour so i enjoy social media, but irl i completely clam up. one of the things that makes me want to make friends with someone is their sense of humour, but when i'm in a group of people that're all chatting, i physically cannot speak. sometimes the chats and jokes form in my head but i can't talk. i feel like i'm never going to make any friends :/
@drinkmythoughts Building yourself up helps a lot. So if you're feeling not wanted and ignored you know that these people are not right for you and someone else is. It also helps to already have good friends, I don't but I know it helps.
I'd have to say the majority of my clients on here struggle with the same thing! And how great to be able t work through some of it online?! Anyways... Here's a list I like to talk about. Hope it's helpful at all? :)
Ask Why and How Questions. ...
Channel Curious George. ...
Ask for advice. ...
Avoid your favorite topic. ...
Talk less and listen more. ...
Obey the 20 second rule. ...
Your body says it all. ...
Lose the phone.
@CrystaDLCSW thank you for the link it was quite helpful :D
@CrystaDLCSW well that's assuming you want to small talk and not rebel and be yourself and take over the planet like me ;)
@Daydreamer47 Mwah ha ha ha ha
every time i say something, people's heads start bulging with the physical discomfort of their human brains.
i've found it's best to stay quiet in person ;~;
though my existence has become more fathomable with age and the gradual acceptance of my race of reptilian alien-shapeshifters o.o
i'm afraid i'm just not very interested in conversation unrelated to insemination of the universe.
@bunnypants <3 i will talk to you about the universe =D
@Daydreamer47 youuuu are on my snugglelist from forever ago! :o
@drinkmythoughts Small talk is hard! :/ I noticed you mentioned it's hard to speak when you're in groups of people - what about when it's with one or two other people? Maybe that would be easier for you to be able to communicate? I know it helps for me :). Good luck! xx
@HairlessCat i am a lil better with 1 or 2 people, but groups of 5 or 6 always scare me even if they're good friends
@HairlessCat making new friends is so so hard, i tend to just stick with the people i already have, i don't think i've made any new friends since primary school :3
Thanks for the advice and link Crystal. I get nervous when people talk loud or a lot of people are talking at once, but enjoy conversations in small groups of relaxed people.
@drinkmythoughts yeah I have a similar experience in groups. I rarely tell my own joke or anecdote in a big group of people. For me, I've learned that it's okay to want to be myself and talk about deeper things, so I try to meet people through discussion groups, political or religious spaces, etc.
@Daydreamer47 sometimes i'll be chatting with someone, and then someone i don't know comes over and i completely clam up. they must find me so weird, just suddenly going quiet i get so frustrated with myself
@drinkmythoughts yeah i get that. :(
I do well in small groups with low key people talking about interesting topics
Same or just one on one talking with someone who likes to talk alot. I love that lol.,@sail46
@drinkmythoughts Ugh. I totally relate. It's so awkward to be in a group of people and they're all chatting and you don't know when to jump in and say something and by the time you think of something clever the conversation has already moved on.
