Am I really autistic
I've refuses to believe I'm a autistic person before I've have a saying that if you're not comfortable then that is not your person, but years and years past by and everything is still the same as if I'm just watching my time be wasted and here I'm still stuck at age 12 though it's been a long time I past that age, I can't keep up with conversations with people the same age as me, I can't form a long lasting conversation, all I just do before was doomscroll, watches movies and just stay silent, though idk that if I try to talk we just have a very dry conversation and soon they have be bored, so then here am I seating alone at school without any friends, and my classmate don't want to exchange papers with me when it's checking and I repeat many time why? And they just said no. then even my classmates says that my male classmate have a crush to me, sometimes I got angry,they laugh.
But that when I just got tired and just said 'oh ok' and knod.
And today I'll be going back there it's draining ð¥¹
@scarletHuman293
I'm sorry that you are struggling.
And trying to navigate so many difficult feelings.
And school can be a difficult place to try and fit in.
There's nothing wrong with your interests or being you and you don't have to change who you are for anyone 💛
I worry that my everyday life will stay friendless till my breath ends with no good memories to carry, and i worry that I can't communicate my feelings, needing a full cup of courage and my cup is empty, constantly having panic attacks in crowded areas,to the point it interferes in my life ð¥¹
@scarletHuman293
That's so difficult.
It might help you to get support and talk to someone, learning how to put more tools on your emotional toolbox to help you in such situations that you've mentioned 💛
Where, I don't have anyone my parents just don't care even when I said I have a panic attacks they just said then just stop going to school or even tried to take pictures of me when I said I'm uncomfortable 😖
@scarletHuman293
That's very upsetting, I'm sorry they do that 😔💛
Tysm for listening, I'll have an idea recently that I should trying to reach out to my adviser or maybe counselor but idk if it's worth it tho😖
@scarletHuman293
It's worth it 🩷
So glad you're here and please keep us updated and let us know if we can help in any way. I'm sorry it's been so hard, but know you matter and you're doing good. 🦋
Lately I just noticed how each person have a interesting conversation, they speak very mature but me will you know very awkward...and very boring too. Not pretty not a funny person too maybe that's why I am excluded... Maybe I'll try lying a bit cause I am a person who say what come in my mind I can't imagine lying so that's why after a short conversation I said the truth and then hit with silent. Oh well I guess that's what happens right now
