Autistic Person unemployment and nasty comments
I've been unemployed for 18 months now, and I am embarrassed and I ashamed of it. I am disabled with autism and dyspraxia. I have also suffer from anxiety and depression.
I used to volunteer at my local library one day a week, assisting the elderly with the computers. I also used to volunteer in the past at a charity shop, but gave that up to stress. I gave the library up also to burnout, and stress, and serious mental health issues.
I used to work as an IT apprentice and got made redundant a few years back, through no fault of my own, was down to not renewing the contract. I got the highest grade out of my entire group with a Distinction*. I had to deal with grief, stress, depression, anxiety and covid throughout my apprenticeship. But I have lost all of my confidence now when I lost my job.
It the people online saying things like all people on benefits are lazy and stupid, they are ***, and they should starve and do without. I receive universal credit and PIP. IPES employment program was horrible, the key workers kept changing and one of them had a go at me when I was struggling.
I feel like a failure because of these online comments, I am embarrassed to be walking my local community, I have no confidence at the moment, these comments are nasty and awful, I want to go back to work, I am scared of getting and terrified of going back into the workplace, because of past experiences and discrimination I have had due to my disability. it's also a case of finding the right job for me, as i can't be thrown into any job due to my limitations. I am trying my best, but I keep breaking down in tears and getting severly depressed. I am taking medication and getting counselling and trying to find help with myself. But I just get frustrated, I don't trust many people because of bad experiences in the past and these awful comments about benefits and disabled people make me a whole lot worse
Am I in the wrong? Am I a crybaby? Am I lazy, because i am not in work.. Please don't judge. It's difficult for me.
@impartialNorth8471
Your story is very difficult and sad. You fell into a trap that we all often fall into, when some thoughts crowd out others, preventing us from doing anything. All these comments and statements are from people who understand little about this. It is easy for them to judge, because they have not been where you and others have been. Moreover, they talk about everyone, generalizing. Generalization is an unnamed sin. They do not deserve your attention or worry about it. You have your own path, your own uniqueness, and you have the right to live your own life. You seem to be good at IT? How about applying for different vacancies or becoming a freelancer? Maybe start small and try to create something as a portfolio? Your achievements, frankly, amazed me, and I think that you have a future where you will be yourself. Confident and happy, so good luck