Mid autism diagnosis, abuse, and complex disorders

I just typed this so forgive me if its discordant. I just recently realized that im autistic and asked my psychiatrist for a formal diagnosis. I was attributing my behaviors to other things and it was not until I thoroughly researched autism that I realized there were too many coincidences to overlook. I am loathe to admit this because Ive developed a bit of a personal stigma against the late autism diagnoses that everyone seems to be getting but I am uninformed to be honest. Sometimes social media makes things seem more prevalent than they are and perhaps it IS so prevalent. That said. I am currently in a previously abusive and yet somehow still somewhat abusive relationship and I am learning to identify what masking is and how to open up more emotionally. I have recently lost my kids and I have alot of questions about autism and habits and things I once chalked up to childishness or over emotional"ness" because I have several mental illnesses(OCD, PTSD(complex), schizoaffective disorder, and adhd) now possibly autism and I believe in personal accountability. That said I have been calling myself childish my whole life for emotions that were very real and genuine to me and never understood why people did not understand me. Im 35. I apologize if this is verbose but I wish I could just talk to someone about it. I have no local friends and finding therapy looks like its going to be a pain 🙃 But all and all Im okay, so dont worry. I would just like to vent a little and maybe delve into the autism thing if it interests you. I dont really want to go down the whole laundry list of indicators but let's just say, sans special interests (which I do have its just ALL of them) there isnt a single thing I cant relate to directly. Stimming flapping masking pacing overload/ over stimulation "sensory" is hard for me to say(sorry) bc I'll feel it, but regardless, I have had meltdowns my whole life and Im tired of calling myself childish and overdramatic when its always made me feel bad and never seems to get any better. It just gets internalized. Idk. I believe in self accountability so this is difficult for me to say but if you're up for a conversation, I'm here and happy to just talk even if YOU need it. :p Happy fourth of July. 😀