questions
hello. i’ve been questioning if i’m autistic for years atp and i’m trying to make sense of my experiences. also this is gonna be messy but bear with me guys 😔🙏
i think i mask a lot. i mirror people, i’m especially exhausted in school even though i’m not even socialising, and i struggle with group settings, sensory stuff and friendships.
i got a 201 on the RAADS-R and 140 on the CAT-Q (i know that it’s probably not accurate but *** i needed validation) and my life feels exhausting socially and mentally.
i also feel really guilty for thinking that i might be autistic, like I’m faking it or being disrespectful. has anyone ever related to this? if so, should i pursue a formal diagnosis? i live in a big town but resources are still limited, my mom and i are thinking of moving to the capital for more support. my country is still deeply ableist and most of the professionals i’ve met have said that i’m far too “capable” to be autistic… (i know… it hurt to say but whatevs…) also have any of you dropped out of school? the transition from middle school to high school has been hard and everyone has become more judgemental so i feel like i’m masking more just to be accepted. i’ve probably skipped half of the school year and teachers absolutely hate me for it (understandable but i just need support 💔)
Hi, I'm Kiara, and I'm autistic. :)
Idk about in your country, but in mine, it's hard to get an autism diagnosis as an adult. (They told me I have ADD. Which I do have, but I'm also autistic, which have VERY different symptoms.)
I'm not one to say this, but it's true in this case... Follow your truth. If you know deep down in your heart that you're autistic, then don't let the naysayers or lack of diagnosis get you down. You know you better than anyone else. <3
*hugs*
@uiqzzzmYour feelings are completely valid, and you're not alone in experiencing this kind of exhaustion and uncertainty. Masking and struggling with social and sensory challenges are common for many autistic people, especially those who are "highly capable" but still face real difficulties. The guilt you feel about questioning autism is also very common—it's often called "impostor syndrome" or fear of not being believed—but it doesn't mean your experiences aren't real or important. Pursuing a formal diagnosis can be helpful because it can open doors to support and accommodations, especially if you're struggling at school. Moving to a place with better resources sounds like a positive step. Many people have had a hard time with school transitions and masking to fit in, so you're not alone in that either. If you want, I can help you think through next steps or find resources that might be available to you.