My partner is autistic

Hello everyone!

In this thread we want to talk about some difficulties people can have when they are in a relationship with an autistic person, hoping it can help you both.

Before we start reading something about it, let’s remember that every relationship can have difficulties or be going through difficult moments but our loved one still remains the special person that has a special place in our heart and they are wonderful the way they are with their uniqueness!

As a non-autistic person, it might be difficult to support your autistic partner. They may communicate in a different way to you, or find it hard to express their needs and desires.

Of course, not everybody is the same, but for autistic people, things like picking up on traditional social rules and body language, understanding their own feelings, and sensory processing may not always come naturally.

At times, this could lead to misunderstandings within a relationship, or you may find that your partner says or does something that is unintentionally hurtful. This can be difficult to deal with. There may be adjustments that you need to make, such as thinking about the way you communicate with your autistic partner.

They may have difficulties interpreting non-verbal communication, such as your body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. They may not be able to tell from your behaviour alone that you need support or reassurance. This may be hurtful as it can come across as indifference.

* Try to be open with your partner, telling them what you are thinking, feeling and what you need from them. 

* Your autistic partner may be anxious, have certain routines they need to follow or have difficulties with organisation and prioritising.  

* It can help to talk to your partner about any relationship problems you are having and explain your feelings in a calm, reasoned way. Your partner may prefer to discuss things in writing as it will give them more time to process what you are saying.

(source National Autistic Society)

What is the main difficulty you experience with your partner?

How is communication going with them?

Is there something you can do to help the situation?

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