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My partner is autistic

User Profile: MeaningfulSilence
MeaningfulSilence January 13th, 2021

Hello everyone! heart

In this thread we want to talk about some difficulties people can have when they are in a relationship with an autistic person, hoping it can help you both.

Before we start reading something about it, let’s remember that every relationship can have difficulties or be going through difficult moments but our loved one still remains the special person that has a special place in our heart and they are wonderful the way they are with their uniqueness!

As a non-autistic person, it might be difficult to support your autistic partner. They may communicate in a different way to you, or find it hard to express their needs and desires.

Of course, not everybody is the same, but for autistic people, things like picking up on traditional social rules and body language, understanding their own feelings, and sensory processing may not always come naturally.

At times, this could lead to misunderstandings within a relationship, or you may find that your partner says or does something that is unintentionally hurtful. This can be difficult to deal with. There may be adjustments that you need to make, such as thinking about the way you communicate with your autistic partner.

They may have difficulties interpreting non-verbal communication, such as your body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. They may not be able to tell from your behaviour alone that you need support or reassurance. This may be hurtful as it can come across as indifference.

* Try to be open with your partner, telling them what you are thinking, feeling and what you need from them. 

* Your autistic partner may be anxious, have certain routines they need to follow or have difficulties with organisation and prioritising.  

* It can help to talk to your partner about any relationship problems you are having and explain your feelings in a calm, reasoned way. Your partner may prefer to discuss things in writing as it will give them more time to process what you are saying.

(source National Autistic Society)

enlightened What is the main difficulty you experience with your partner?

enlightened How is communication going with them?

enlightened Is there something you can do to help the situation?

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User Profile: Asher
Asher January 15th, 2021

Great post, with a lot of great information. Thank you for sharing this with the community.

3 replies
User Profile: MeaningfulSilence
MeaningfulSilence OP January 15th, 2021

@Asherwolfice

You are welcome, hope it can help people yes

2 replies
User Profile: kindSoul10
kindSoul10 January 15th, 2021

@LoveMyRotty thanks for sharing your sources about this topic.

1 reply
User Profile: MeaningfulSilence
MeaningfulSilence OP January 15th, 2021

@kindSoul10

Hello kindSoul10!

You are welcome smiley

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User Profile: JoyousBear
JoyousBear January 15th, 2021

@LoveMyRotty Very nice post. I hope that you will get a lot of useful information.

1 reply
User Profile: MeaningfulSilence
MeaningfulSilence OP January 15th, 2021

@gentleSun78

Hi there gentleSun78! How are you?

Yes, the goal for threads is to do something that can be useful for people.

It's good to also have any precise feedback about what could be done, in order to help everyone in a more specific way.

Happy weekend ahead!

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User Profile: HappyDucky8
HappyDucky8 January 16th, 2021

@LoveMyRotty

its been a long road to understanding my partner's need for routines. And outbursts if things did not occur as planned. Learning together that autism and adhd were the cause made it easier to accept and adapt

5 replies
User Profile: MeaningfulSilence
MeaningfulSilence OP January 16th, 2021

@HappyDucky8

Hello!

It's good that after facing some difficulties you have found ways to improve things.

4 replies
User Profile: HappyDucky8
HappyDucky8 January 16th, 2021

@LoveMyRotty still super hard but have made it 22 years together so have figured a few things out

3 replies
User Profile: MeaningfulSilence
MeaningfulSilence OP January 16th, 2021

@HappyDucky8

Yes, it is needed time to understand how to better interact.

When you say it is still super hard you mean it's emotionally difficult or is it about how to organize things in daily life?

2 replies
User Profile: HappyDucky8
HappyDucky8 January 16th, 2021

@LoveMyRotty

i mean emotionally understanding each other's intentions and words

1 reply
User Profile: MeaningfulSilence
MeaningfulSilence OP January 16th, 2021

@HappyDucky8

Sorry it's still something so hard, would hope some ways to help it improving can be found

Best wishes with it

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