Badly manic.

Your feelings are very valid. I am also diagnosed with bipolar along with PTSD, and a few others. The feeling of not knowing if your emotions are real or if you’re “overreacting” is a horrible one. Mine stems from narcissistic parents who refused to let me express my emotions, so now as an adult I’m trying to find that line in the sand between having a “normal” reaction and blowing up bc of bipolar rage or becoming defensive bc of ptsd or anxiety or just shutting down completely bc of the ptsd. I think what i keep coming back to is, if it upsets you in anyway, especially to the point of extreme anger or crying, then it’s valid. Whether you’re going through a bp or ptsd episode doesn’t matter bc you are still feeling those feelings. I do think you should schedule an appt with a therapist as soon as possible bc an untreated manic episode will just spiral out of control and last much longer with negative consequences most likely. Especially if you’ve got children and you’re experiencing mania symptoms. Keep a mood journal and try to write in it everyday, especially if you’re feeling especially up or down. Try to find a cycle or a pattern or triggers, try to learn about how your illnesses affect you, bc they affect everybody differently. Education helps a lot, but a therapist/psychiatrist is going to be able to give you the most amount of help and information as well.