Bipolar diagnosis personal crisis
Hi yall,
I'm Rachel, i'm 18 and i've just recently been diagnosed with bipolar 2 with psychosis and although i've assumed these past few years I was bipolar, a medical practitioner telling me to my face that mine and my friends theories were correct did something to me. In the beginning I thought I didn't care about the diagnosis. I actually laughed it off, but then I had another hypomanic episode, and then I crashed. And now, here I am depressed, and realizing that i'm just kind of stuck like this. Or at least thats how it feels right now post diagnosis and post hypomanic episode. And it honestly feels like i'm just going to be stuck, emotionally dysregulated, hitting these extreme highs and lows forever. Or I get on meds and just feel like a zombie. Either way right now meds doesn't feel like the correct option for me, and DBT therapy seems to just be telling me "Are you feeling a bad emotion? Have you tried, not feeling it? Is this how a wise mind would think?" It really feels like theres no real way to be happy and whatever "normal" feels and looks like in the long run. So I guess i'm writing and posting to see if anyone else has ever felt this way after their diagnosis, and if you did what helped you feel better about it?
@notr4ch3l
Hi Rachel,
Where do I even begin. I know exactly where you're at and I understand your concern. I myself had lost a good portion of my 20's zombified on meds, but I cannot deny that it did helped in some way to slow down my thoughts or at least regulate my mania. But I just wished I knew of a better option then.
I'm in my early 30's now, and from what I learned thus far, we are not the problem here, but the symptoms we are experiencing were the result of the kind of environment and times we live in. We are only a by-product of an unhealthy society, so please don't take your illness personally. If you're committed to your own health, try to research other ways to ameliorate your symptoms. Do you do sports, or tried exercise, have a healthier diet? Do you surround yourself with good people? Are you getting enough fresh air and sunlight? Do you maybe suffer any vitamin or nutrient deficiency? I know it's very simplistic approach but sometimes it's these simple things that we neglect because we are too fixated on our devices, or in comparing ourselves to other people. I can only imagine at your age the pressure to keep up with everyone around you. Rachel, you're okay. It's okay. It's a process, it's a journey to self discovery. You need to know yourself, what's right and what's best for you and you go with that. Don't let any label define you, or drag you down. That's all I'm saying.
I know exactly how you feel. One month ago I was formally diagnosed and I was caught totally off guard. I’d hurt myself before the diagnosis and was required to go. But I just felt like such a failure after. Like I’d finally made it to the place of no return and now I’m a broken toy. A month later I’ve been taking my medication and I don’t feel like a zombie but some things do feel more dull. I can’t say if it would help you but I know I’m also still going through things and that part sucks but I think for you maybe you might be okay. I think all I can think to tell you is it’s not the end of the world. Some people have high blood pressure, they have to take medication and avoid salt. Think of it that way. A biological issue , that they provide medicine and then it helps.
Hi!I’ve been diagnosed 3 years ago with bipolar disorder 2!I had the same exactly reaction as you,pretend that i don’t care,but after the days have past and once i was home alone and realizing actually what i have,created a huge panick attack and i thought i am gone die.Next,lots of pills and therapy,zombie mode all the time,no life in me,no feelings for a very long time until i decided to learn everything possible about this mental condition,learn which can be possible triggers and how to avoid them.And i did,i am not in a perfect state yet,i have lots of lows,depressions,but i kind of managed to avoid hypomaniac phases and have longer moments of hope and accepting that i have what i have and try to do the best that i can and enjoy life.I also realize that i have more understanding and emphaty for people in general and i can say that i love this about myself and i love that i am strong and i never give up.This is a thing that makes me very proud of me,i don’t give up.And also,very important,the lows and depression are not that bad like before,i am more aware from where they come and i try to understand the situation and get out of it faster.It’s not easy,but i can do it…and i am sure you will do it too.And no,you will not be stuck like this forever,i’ve been there,i’ve been you and i promise it gets better and sometimes is soo good for a long period of time.I wish i could say it will be good forever,but i don’t know that,yet.I just hope and hope always helps.
I hope i expressed myself well,my english is not the best.Take care and don’t give up!