Depressed Bipolar Disorder 2
It's like..I want to get treatment but I refuse it at the same time does anyone feel like me?
Same for the past 11 years since I was diagnosed....I have been on and off meds for years. I went off again in January. Was ok for a few months then had the worst mixed episode I've ever had. Still in the tail end of it. I finally broke down my stubbornness because I know I need help. Reached out to several psychiatrists and psychologists in my area. Today I finally got a reply from a psychiatrist who is able to take me on. I have an appointment on Friday. I'm both relieved and terrified.
Great first step for making the appt. I hope you attend. I know the internal struggle. Stay strong. Know that you are doing what is truly best for you even though sometimes it is hard to convince yourself.
YES! It is a constant internal battle. I don’t want treatment. Don’t “buy into it” as my dr likes to say, but at the same time know that I do in fact need it. If anything I owe it to my husband and children. So I keep on battling - treatment: friend or foe? Both. Neither. Either. Depends on my cycle I suppose. And the stage of my life. And if I can afford to go off the rails and be hospitalized b/c basically that is guaranteed w/o treatment. I can acknowledge that (at least) now in my 40’s.