Extreme swings

Sometimes i question if I am really happy. Lived the best days of my life the past months felt like I’m in the 7th heaven. Now all of that been taken away from me not really. But I feel like I lost big part of my fun life and that I’m back to reality. I don’t know if everything was numbed for a while and I didn’t get over my past experiences or I’m feeling overwhelmed for the sudden changes and if I ever was happy or distracted. I’m sometimes feeling okay not great the next few minutes everything hits I wanna be okay