Government Assistance
Hi, everybody. I have been stuck on something for months, and wondered if any of you have similar issues or experiences.
I am in the process of applying for SSDI (American government income assistance). It took me a long time to make the decision to apply, since I had been accustomed to supporting myself ever since I ws fifteen. But, in 2013, the floor finally dropped out, and I am just starting to be able to work on a part-time basis. Based on what I seem able to do, I will NEVER be able to support myself on the income I make-- not even on the lowest level of sustainability. I never imagined I should consider government help as an option, but based on how I have been and am doing, my therapist strongly suggested it, and believed I run a good chance of having my application accepted.
I WANT to work, and I want to be able to support myself. But, for the last four years, I have not been able to do it. I am only surviving because I have an amazing friend with a comfortable amount of income that has been willing over the last year and a half to support me financially.
Here's the issue though... I feel lazy and undeserving of SSDI assistance. The thoughts are reinforced by the fact that I was rejected the first time, and my first appeal was rejected yesterday. So, I feel like my unworthiness to attain aid is being confirmed. I am in a terrible headspace about this. I also had someone who was formerly a friend attack me about applying for public aid, claiming I essentially don't deserve it. That didn't help either-- so many ugly words.
So, here's what I am wondering what you all in this community think. Not necessarily about my situation specifically. I would love to know about any experiences all of you have had, if you've applied for government assistance. Or any thoughts you have about requesting it when disabled due to mental health concerns that are permanent-- like anxiety, depressive symptoms, or what have you.
Has anyone else felt like a complete loser for asking for help, or like an idiot for not having your application accepted?
@ladylazarus1971 You are so brave to post this! Many people go through similar feelings when finally going through the application process.
I've worked with many clients who went through this process and it can be difficult to be approved based on mental health concerns. One reason is that things like depression and anxiety are likely to be short-term, meaning they don't commonly occur to the severity of causing someone to be out of work, for years and years. So, many people are denied the first time.
Another unfortunate thing is that sometimes it's simply due to administrative errors or the doctor not describing the disability well enough. Stay on it and keep trying. It's common for people to be approved on the second or third appeal. But it's hard to stick with it for so long!
Make sure to keep talking with your therapist and you may want to discuss progress and goals so you can identify how to keep moving despite these setbacks.
@ladylazarus1971
Hello Ms Lady Lazarus,
I am thinking of applying myself. It took 5 years of appeals for my husband's disability to kick in. He has been told to his face that he is a disgrace to men etc etc because his disability is invisible. Even when we tell people we live on 40% of normal income, lost retirement posibilities and liquidated our investments trying to keep the house till aid kicked in. . .they still think he is being lazy, cheating the gov. and a leech. Unfortunately, many people hold those stereotypes as truth.
Now for the crushed feelings because of a friend who did not understand and was hurtful - you have my deepest sympathy. It's like dust, no matter how much the truth clears the way for understanding, some people insist on making things yucky with dust(ignorance). The help is there for a reason. Keep up with the appeals - don't loose heart!
psst - ( I hope you find amazing new friends on your journey)
@OrangeYouGlad68 Thank you for the validation and support. I'm still slogging through the SSDI terrain, and feeling disheartened. But I'm trying.
I recently lost my SNAP benefits because I have been able to sustain a part time job since late December. I guess that $400 a month is supposed to allow me to take care of basic living expenses?? Honestly, it's soul-crushing.
But it doesn't mean I''m going to stop fighting for what I feel I've earned.
Thanks again for your thoughtful post.
@ladylazarus1971
In my experience being on SSDI, going back to work never helped. I always ended up losing my job or quitting. Honestly, disability has allowed me to pursue my own hobbies and relax. It was difficult adjusting to being home all day. I recommend getting some hobbies.
@mrtime86 Thanks for the advice. I sure need something to keep my mind occupied other than reading and zoning out watching movies!