@Danaerayn hey hi, I can totally relate. I've been diagnosed last year and medication helped me a lot with an upcoming depression. The last couple days I'm experiencing a mixed episode. I never really had both symtomes, the highs and lows changing within hours or simultaneously. I read that it can happen (also, anti depressants can push you into hypomaniac/maniac states).
Yeah well, even if it's confusing and exhausting, we are going to push trough here and learn from it.
I would really really recommend to see your doctor and talk it out instead of experimenting around tho, after all it's ataractics. Psychiatrists have more experience in this regard, going there right away and asking for help can prevent suffering, that's for sure.
That's what I'm going to do as well, if it's not turning better soon. We'll see how things turn out. I think keeping calm and montoring ones moods might be the best thing to do now.
@energeticGrapefruit
I was just about to post about mixed episodes! Thank you for posting this!
They really are confusing and unsettling!!!
@Quinzel241
Always remember, you're not alone.
Here's what I experienced in the meantime:
Mixed episodes are still new to me and I had a little breakdown and panic attack out of nowhere. This never happende before and I was thinking really weird things too, so I was pretty scared and confused.
I went to see my doctor. He recommended calming meds against anxiety and panic that I can take when something like this happens again. He was sceptical about the situation I had, so I was given antipsychotics too, just to try and see if they help.
I read the instruction leaflet and, against all logic, decided not to take them. It just didn't feel right. I took this breakdown as warning sign and thought to myself, I can't just take more and more pills and expect the situation to get better on it's own.
So what I did was, I bought heaps of fruits and veggies and started to eat more healthy, made a strict sleep schedule to keep me from sleeping to much or too little, also to keep me from sleeping during the day. I reduced my alcohol and coffeein intake. I took a break from all the things I had to do, started doing yoga and meditation (www.calm.com help me a lot learning how to meditate). I stopped going out so much, and if I do I don't drink a lot.
It's a lot of work to keep it up, but since I started it, I felt so much better and the mixed episode stoped immediately..
If something isn't working out or I break my new rules, I try not to be so hard on me. (again - meditation seems to be the key)
To use the time that I have to manage "on my own", meaning that I'm not at work or uni, usefull instead of not leaving the sofa at all, I take a little piece of paper an which I write everthing I want to get done for the day or the next hours. Things I like doing as well as things that need to be done. Grocery shopping, making a call, vacuuming, but also things like having a cup of tea, doing yoga and this kind of things. I make sure it's only things that can and should be done that day. I stick to the list, which is always in eyeseight of where I like to sit and waste time. I start with a very easy and pleasant task. Once I started, the rest seems manageable too.
This is how I managed my first mixed episode on my own, without changing my standard medication.
Mixed states! Yes, that's it, exactly! Be careful, please, sweetheart! Mixed states are the worst state we can find ourselves in as sufferers of Bipolar Disease. More suicides and self-harm, more homicidal ideations and psychosis, clinically happen during these extremely frustrating times than during either mania or depression. It's essentially having the rabid desire to die we have, frankensteined together with the actual energy it takes to make it happen. Do whatever healthy things you need to do to soothe yourself. We're always here to talk! 7 Cups= 24/7 Cups! I'll be thinking of you. <3
@ladylazarus1971im trying to find things that are helpful to do but nothing is working. I've been self harming more but even that's not working.
@Danaerayn I know this sounds really lame, but one thing that sometimes worked for me when I was trying to stave off self injury was to take either a very, very long shower, or a super girly bubble bath. Something about the way the hot water feels against my skin lessens the urge to rip it apart. And having the wherewithal to have done that kind of self care also makes me a little more proud of myself, which makes me feel a bit better about myself and how I'm doing. So, then I am less likely to want to take out my anxiety and rage against myself. And, of course, the hot water naturally just biologically relaxes your body and mind.
Maybe this technique could work for you.
To me the page of pbhope magazine turned out to be really helpfull as well...
https://www.bphope.com/topics/discussion/What-is-your-experience-with-a-mixed-state/
@energeticGrapefruit thank you so much
@Danaerayn I've been thinking about you, sweetie, and wondering how you've been faring this week. If you can, will you let us know how you're feeling and doing? I hope better than the last couple of weeks! <3
@Danaerayn Checking in again, sweetie, like the interfering old lady that I am. I've been thinking of you still, and hoping so very much you are faring much better than when you last posted.
Roll call! Front and center! Report cadet! Basically, we would love to hear from you whether you are still feeling challenged, or if the pressure is easing on you. <3
This happened to me a lot a few years ago. I was diagnosed as bipolar at 14 and now I'm 20. I sometimes refer to bipolar nowadays as a blessing and a curse because it put me through a lot, but when you go through a lot you also learn a lot. Nowadays I kind of appreciate it. Also, I never put disorder next to bipolar for the reason because i never liked to think of it as something that would stop me from doing anything. It was that kind of thinking that got me where I am today.
I am not sure what is wrong with me . I know I changed 5months ago. I acknowledged the girl I have been talking about the last two years was me I was a victim of 5 assaults. Not counting the ones I got away from. I thought I am handling this fine. All of a sudden I am ha in character changes. Acting out ways that was not me. Getting online chatting to people which I never have done. I only played with my girls i was never a facebook chatting type. Till I changes recently I contacted my ex husband and his wife my old friend. I reached out to so Mann Il friends . I thought i fell in love with my best friend and ruined that forever. I lost my mind well the ER called it dissociation.
I do dissociate often especially to get away from a flashback moment if I'm IM public.
I feel suicidal thoughts come on and i get crazy thoughts of daring things .walking a high ledge in a snowstorm walk on thawing lake
drive fast. Urge to wreck my van only me inside. I only think this but some days are so very hard I del harm to not act out on things.
I do not feel right I am not who I was before the
acknowledgement . I get very highs and very lows. I wanna do very impulsive things that will cost me everything I have not been diagnosed bipolar my mom is. Half my cousins.
I have or had major depressive disorder I fear I am bipolar now I live a daily life of suicidal thoughts.
I have the entergy I am fighting myself with all that I am.
its not about me I am a mother and a nurture to all in need. Thanks for listening.
I tend to experience both mixed and depressive episodes more so than manic ones. I can certainly sympathize with you on feeling like you're going insane. It's hard to make sense of it when it's happening.