“Manic episode taking over my life”
Back in lay Sept. I was going through one of the worst manic episodes of my life. I did the most outrageous risky uncharacteristic things imagined. The worst part is I can’t even remember the majority of it. It lasted 6Days, at the ending of it all I ended up admitting my self to a 1013 program to get help and answers. Still to this day those events are like a blurred slide show of lost information. My husband doesn’t believe me and I can’t explain it any better so it’s going to result in a divorce that I don’t want. I’m so lost
@Rachael016
Hello there Rachael016, sorry to hear things are so difficult.
Does your husband know about your condition and what manic episodes are about?
I would hope it could be possible for you to track things with him about your emotional changes, your behaviours and your reactions at a time, in order to find ways to cope at best and to keep doing things together, which helps the bond with a loved one.
It sure is stressful for you, do you think there is a way to talk about things with him to feel supported when needed and to set a plan to face those moments?
Seems like a very difficult situation
I came out of my psychosis without doing too much stupid stuff but I had almost stripped in the supermarket naked (luckily my mother prevented it) and almostly (luckily a friend prevented it) confessed all my sins towards people....
Maybe it's helpful for you that you're not alone and that more people have gone through this. And survived. It might be hard, but maybe think about how many people have survived things like you did and more horrible things. And still.despite all those things found (periods) of peace after that... If they have done it why could you not do it!
I wish you a meeting with great healing soon. In whatever form that might be!
Hi friend. I can absolutely relate. I’m sorry that you feel lost right now. I always try to remind myself after an episode that my character and my intent don’t always line up with my actions during mania. I too take extreme risks when I am up, and I’ve been extremely toxic at times. I feel for you that your husband doesn’t believe you, and I know what it’s like trying to explain your condition to someone who doesn’t understand. I’m very embarrassed for my actions when I’m manic and I tend to get extremely down on myself when I come down. What always blows my mind is how understanding and forgiving I am towards others who are going through the same things that I am. But I can’t ever seem to forgive myself or give myself a break. I beat myself up constantly and ruminate like crazy. Just know that you’re not alone. It’s been very hard on my relationships. My hope for you is that the people in your life come to understand you better so that they can truly love all of you. I’m sure that the most wonderful things about you can be attributed to your beautiful mind :) It is a gift and a curse. You aren’t going to feel lost forever. It may take time, but you will feel grounded and aligned with your values once again. Be loved, I’m always here to talk 🧡