Seeking support to prevent another depressive episode
Hello~ I've been dealing with mental health issues for almost twenty years and at the end of last year I was finally diagnosed with Bi Polar II. I added lithium to my medication regime and it seemed to help as I've been feeling "better" for the past four months. I'm now seeing that much of these past few months I've actually been hypo-manic. I finally looked at my credit card bills and see that I have been way over spending the past few months. My last depressive episode happened after a similar spending spree and I promised myself I wouldn't do this again. I haven't been honest with my therapist or psychiatrist about the spending and now I feel myself crashing again. I do not want to fall into another dark hole so hoping to get some support on here. I know I don't have to do this alone and that this guilt and shame is only contributing to how low I feel.
I know that deep dark hole! I lived in there for several years (decades!) I don't know how to help but I'm bipolar 1 and fear I am a bit mixed right now. Between under and over sleeping. Between racing thoughts and no thoughts. Overwhelm and boredom are my warning signs.
If understanding helps, well, I understand. I'm not sure what I can say to stop it for you but know esp right now, this is a terrible time to be bipolar. Stay connected to your supportive friends, community, church, wherever people know you and you feel safe to share. Talk here. Let us support you.
I will say make sure you have enough meds so you don't run out. Don't wait till the last week in case lithium gets in short supply. Make sure you always have at least 3 weeks perhaps?
Take any other meds you have prescribed prn? Like I have respirdol to take if I get racey and overwhelmed. So I'm taking it right now routinely - even days I don't feel like I need it to stay ahead of my...head!
@Bet29
thanks so much for your response...helps to know I'm not alone and to hear experience, strength and hope from you. It sounds like you are very proactive and have a good tool set.
I'm good about keeping up with my meds and we have recently adjusted them so hopefully they will help keep a bad depression at bay.
for me, it's just so hard to go from feeling happy, productive, creative and hopeful to this...it's like the lights dim and I'm desolately trying to keep them on.
do you feel like you want to hide from friends? I find it so hard to show up when I'm like this because it's so different from the "other me" sometimes it feels like I'm in a bubble: looking out at the world and disconnected.
@Bet29
thanks so much for your response...helps to know I'm not alone and to hear experience, strength and hope from you. It sounds like you are very proactive and have a good tool set.
I'm good about keeping up with my meds and we have recently adjusted them so hopefully they will help keep a bad depression at bay.
for me, it's just so hard to go from feeling happy, productive, creative and hopeful to this...it's like the lights dim and I'm desolately trying to keep them on.
do you feel like you want to hide from friends? I find it so hard to show up when I'm like this because it's so different from the "other me" sometimes it feels like I'm in a bubble: looking out at the world and disconnected.