from rainbows and sun to clouds and thunder

to start off this, i am very unsure if i am bipolar or not, i wanted to make this post to see if i need professional help or not: when i was in kindergarten, i used to cry about literally everything. EVERYTHING. i mean from being picked last at recess to getting a C to saying a bad word and getting in trouble. the list just went on and on. this is normal for someone in kindergarten; however, this carried on all the way to 7th grade. the crying would make me hate myself, it made me feel singled out in front of everyone in the classroom. around 5th grade my parents began to fight nearly every night, always yelling at one another over arbitrary activities. this combined with the crying made my anxiety rise up extremely, to the point where i attempted to be one with the ground. so you may be asking, how does this relate to bipolar disorder? every week usually starts off great, no drama, no stress, ill hang out with my friends. however, as the week progresses i always start feeling really depressed and every time this happens i know its the calm before the storm, because when this does happen every good thing in my life somehow goes south. ill self isolate for days, ill stress out to the point where i yell at myself in the mirror, ill degrade myself with phrases and names that i know hurt deep inside, etc. it feels like middle school all over again, but worse.after the grand finale of this downward cycle occurs, ill feel great again. this repeats so often that i am scared i will do something i regret severely. so my question to yall that deal with bipolar disorder is, how similar is this to how you feel? do you ever go through a happy/unhappy cycle consistently? how did you receive help? who do i even tell about this? sorry for the life story and long post, im just losing hope really fast and need some type of help or guidance