Bipolar
I’ve struggled with this illness my entire life especially from my teen years until now. Honestly I have been struggling this year more than I ever remember struggling before I’m diagnosed PTSD on top of everything else. But I say all that to say that I’m still trying despite the insanity I have experienced over the past 2 years actually. I am working with a therapist and a psych NP and I am about to start EMDR with a different therapist. I’m hopeful despite the damage this person did to me. I realized I am stronger than I could have ever thought! God bless you all!
@softSky9628
Hello softSky. It's impressive how, with as much as you are going through, you are out there, step after step, doing so much to help yourself. You are doing alot, I hope you can feel pride and accomplishment in that. My thoughts will be with you. Danny
Thank you for saying that!
Hi all! Thanks for having me. I’m struggling with bipolar and I want to know what having bipolar is like for you:
What’s your biggest fear?
What’s your biggest frustration?
What’s the most painful thing you can’t find a solution to?
I have bipolar disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
Mania is not being able to shut my brain off (by that I mean sleep!) For 36 hours because I am ruminating about a mistake.
Depression is staying in bed as much as possible and not taking care of myself.
Biggest fear is cycling through jobs every few years as I give it my all but the job is no longer a good fit.
Biggest frustration is when people close to me don't notice I am struggling and don't really ask (I am also working on being more honest when I am struggling).
Hello @axeldutt I'm sorry you are struggling with bipolar. Have you found answers to your questions? For me I've noticed that bipolar is up and down, but more up. When I am down I enjoy journaling and when I cannot sleep I try to learn or work toward a goal. I don't have a biggest fear as I try to keep it positive.
My biggest frustration is that I feel just by having a diagnosis I am being told I am less of a person than I guess you would say neurotypical people. I feel a strong stigma regardless of how much I am able to do and accomplish.
I am and have been physically affected by this is illness and it is physically painful. Growing older is painful as it is. I hope others aren't affected as much as I have been, but I refuse to let it get me down and feel it has shaped who I am.
I feel sorry for what you have gone through, recently I read the book through audible "Body keeps the score" by Bessel van der Kolk. He really understands what trauma is. Anyone with PTSD or any kind of trauma should definitely read this book. I don't prefer to read so I heard the book through audible, I am yet to finish the book. It's so captivating and there's so much knowledge in there. It will really help you. @softSky9628
Hi all,
I take risperdal and lexapro after I went to the psych ward after an extremely bad episode (depression, anxiety, paranoia, crying, overthinking, connecting metaphors between everything) and the psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar (she didn’t know which kind). Then I was told that because I was taking risperdal, I must have bipolar one.
I have always struggled with SEVERE depression and a lack of energy, but whenever I’ve been anxious, I’ve been able to run and get ludicrously angry. I have yelled at a boss (anxiety) and quit my job and quit my family (stress) and quit a relationship (stress) impulsively. I’ve NEVER stayed up more than eight hours or spent money excessively.
I’m not sure that I have bipolar one. But if the medications are keeping me out of the psych ward, maybe I do?
@dapperbunny9654 I had a doctor tell me once that it doesn't really matter what you call it. Everyone has something. I'm glad that you found medication that is helping keep you out of the hospital, and that is what is important!
@dapperbunny9654 I had a doctor tell me once that it doesn't really matter what you call it. Everyone has something. I'm glad that you found medication that is helping keep you out of the hospital, and that is what is important!