Holiday triggers

It's the holiday season and mood disorders beware. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and then Christmas. Every year for years my brain goes a little haywire. My anxiety goes up and I get shaky. I get manic and depressive like symptoms. But not in a mixed episode like I just got out of. I'm so glad that mixed episode is over. Lost over 10 pounds in it. In a support group I read many others with mental illness get a touch on edge around holidays. I think it's stress. I'm believe stress is the worse enemy to mental illness. Also, Ive never told anyone, but I feel like I'm supposed to be at my best since the family is together. I shake to wear using a fork is difficult. Then feel self conscious. It will be my first holiday alcohol free. I need to establish a quiet safe space to retreat to. Bring my anxiety meds. And try to use the logical part of my brain and see nobody is watching me shake or doing the other things noticable possibly by only me. After that bad mixed episode I'm still a bit fragile. So everyone else in the same situation develop your self care strategies. Especially finding a safe room to go to. Every family is different but our feelings tend to be collective. The more people there are I feel more alone. My family doesn't share an interest in the same topics as me. That isolated feeling doesn't help. And our feelings are valid. Our family and friends many not mean harm but harm it does. I can do this. We can do this. Just have a plan.