Mania

I have bipolar I was diagnosed a couple years ago around 2022 maybe 2023. But I was immediately put on medication. And I’ve been off it for like 6 months. I’m still struggling on managing bipolar. I feel constant mania. But also I feel depressed but it’s for a day and then I feel manic again. Anywho. I bought a baby chicken today and normally when you think about buying something you know you shouldn’t it’s more of a voice in the back that’s saying hey don’t do this. But I don’t have that for some reason it’s more of like completely blank. I don’t think of absolutely anything that could happen or go wrong and now I’m not blaming it on my bipolar. But it’s more than just unawareness. It’s more like I believe that my parents will think it’s okay they’ll think I’m funny and they’ll let me keep it. It wasn’t this one time. It’s all time I do it constantly I don’t think. It’s a decision I make on the spot no thoughts or concerns. “Impulse” I guess. But I’m like lowkey worried cause I don’t even think it’s me when it happens. A lot of people explain it to be like my eyes are just blank there’s nothing in my head. and when I do something crazy like that it shocks them cause it’s out of character. I don’t know. I guess I just need guidance or like who even knows lol