Sleepless
This bipolar mixed episode has been going for 3 or 4 weeks now that I'm aware of. I typically go 3 nights no sleep then crash a couple or few days. Then another 3 nights. The weird part is when I have the usually 3 sleepless nights in a row I also can't eat and have trouble with consuming liquids. I force an Ensure down me. I become ill with dehydration and malnutrition. A lot of self isolation. I barely go outside for a cigarette which I suppose is a plus. Currently on day 2 of no sleep and don't feel sleepy at all. Human contact is slightly annoying and I have my weekly therapy appointment today. I'm losing so much weight by basically fasting off and on. Mom says she's making sure I get out of the house later. Therapy doesn't count. I think the changing of the seasons triggered this episode along with the stress and fear of college starting in January. I feel like I've been drugged with an amphetamine. I will not let this escalate into a hospital stay.
@TrueSight I'm truly sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging time with your bipolar mixed episode. It sounds incredibly tough, and I appreciate your openness in sharing. Your awareness of the triggers and your determination not to let it escalate into a hospital stay is commendable.
It's positive that your mom is providing support, and attending your therapy appointment is a great step. Remember, reaching out and sharing your struggles is a strength. If there's anything specific you'd like to talk about or if there's a way I can support you, feel free to let me know. Wishing you strength and comfort during this difficult period đź’™
@Mya000 thank you for such a kind message. Things have improved. I am eating and sleeping again. Certain compulsions and impulses are gone for the most part. Unfortunately after a manic or mixed episode I become depressed. Im just have random moments of wanting to cry. But nothing I read or listened to is sad. I see my psychiatrist next week. The pharmacy finally filled my anxiety meds which should help. Now I just need to start getting out of the house. I'm starting to feel like reading again which is a great sign. Now I need to focus on college starting in January. It's one of this triggers for the break down. But for months I've just been shoving it into my subconscious. I'm trying to look at the great aspects of school and not dwell on my extreme anxieties and moments of self doubt. Every day I'm going to take time to concentrate on the positives. Things are bound to improve. I'm getting anxiety just bringing it up. But not all bad anxiety.
@TrueSight I'm very glad to hear that things are improving for you. It's a significant accomplishment that you're taking steps like focusing on your well-being, restarting your routine, and addressing your anxiety with medication. It's great that you're recognizing your triggers and actively working on managing them.
Taking time to concentrate on the positives each day is a wonderful approach. Remember that progress, even in small steps, is still progress. It's encouraging that you're starting to feel like reading again, and your willingness to face the challenges associated with college is commendable.
I hope your upcoming appointment with the psychiatrist brings additional support and guidance. If you ever feel the need to share your thoughts or experiences, I'm here for you. Take care.
@Mya000 it's great that the mixed episode is over. The manic impulsive trouble nearly caused financial trouble. Thank goodness for Chase Bank. I am left with depressive symptoms and already know which drug he will increase. It's nice to have more of a grip on this world compared to alternatives. Thank you so much for your support. I love the forums and the people who reach out. I'm never alone here. As a verified listener I refer members to the forums all the time. I hope they all come across somebody as kind as you.Â