On a Journey

Hi Im new to 7 cups, Im trying to figure how to use this site, its free through my healthcare so I figure I'd better take advantage of a resource. I was formally diagnosed with Bipolar 2 with psychotic features almost 1 year ago. Along with some OCD type behavior compulsions and intrusive thoughts. It was a relief to have a name on it, I thought I was losing it, I thought it was disgusting and I was scared of myself waking up all hours of the night, hearing voices scream out, the walls popped and ticked like something was walking through them I said its just the house settling or i thought maybe there are rats in the walls. I cried randomly at work and other places, I thought about suicide every day. In fact I thought about it every day since I was 15 so it wasn't unusual to me. I saw wiggles out of the corners of my eye ( i still see them) movements like another dimensions was colliding with mine. I got to the end of the rope and a friend encouraged me to get help I knew it was get help and climb up or let go of that rope. That was Aug 2021.

Im on about 4 meds now, and I did 6 months of talk therapy, everything has been a journey and I'm still trying my best to make progress and learn about myself. I forget that its only been 1 year. It was good just to get things Id held on for years off my chest and sometimes I have genuinely good days and bad. And so, onward I go.