New job and my future is worsening my anxiety

Hi everyone,

This is my first time sharing on this app so I’m a little nervous. To give you guys some context about me, I’m a 23 y/o who graduated with a degree in marketing roughly a year ago. Since than, I’ve been struggling to find work in my area of study, both because I either did not get an interview/call back or because my insecurities and anxiety talked me out of applying to jobs. However this entire time I’ve been employed as a part time office assistant at a staffing agency. I recently got promoted to be a full-time administrative assistant. Although I’m grateful that they thought of me for the role, this is where my anxiety has kicked into overdrive. My new role involves answering the phone all day and basically being the first point of contact for the agency. I’m introverted by nature and don’t mind having interactions with coworkers or answering the phone every once in a while, but there have been days where the phone will just ring nonstop which has overwhelmed me on more than one occasion. I also want to add that I wasn’t really trained, I’ve sort of been learning as I go, so that always makes me unsure of myself. I do ask questions if I’m not sure about something, but idk sometimes I feel like I’m constantly bothering my employers. The best way for me to describe it is some people get fueled by constant social interactions where I get drained. And sometimes you’re not always dealing with the nicest of people too so overall I just find it to be very emotionally and mentally draining. Yesterday, I’m embarrassed to say this, but I was so anxious about starting my day that I got a stomachache and actually threw up, which has never happened to me so I know this is serious. I’ve been trying to find another full time position as quickly as I can, preferably in areas where I don’t have to have a large amount of customer interactions. I’m actually going back to school soon for computer science(which I feel great about pursuing), I just hope I can find a job that fits me better by the time I start so I won’t have an overload of anxiety with both my job and school.

I live with my parents and have tried communicating my feelings to them but they don’t understand. My mom in particular thinks I’m being dramatic and should be grateful that I’ve been given a full time position. It’s just kind of hard to express how I feel when everytime I do, I’m not understood or am sort of shut down.

Im sorry that this was pretty long. I guess I just had this building inside for awhile and needed to just let it out. Does anyone have any advice? Or even suggestions for how to cope better? If I’m being honest I probably would have left the position but I can’t do that unless I want to hear a lecture from my parents about “ruining my resume”. Mentally I need a break, but I’m trying to hold out.

Thanks