Changing Jobs
I have worked Pest control for the past six years, gaslighting and toxic behavior seems built in to what I do. People lie and manipulate me every day, everything from my work phone, to our CRM, and even talking to the customers in person is toxic, but you are expected to deal with it and be happy. There is no way all the things that happen and the customers say is not intentional, to many similarities for that to be possible, and for them to go through with it is disgusting, they have ruined my mental state probably permanently.
I kill rats and bugs in giant homes for the worse people in the world and they are almost always ungrateful about it, it's never good enough. They always want something or someone else and never communicate honestly or openly. Infact most are looking for ways to criticize or complain about what you do to get reimbursement or argue for not paying.
I got a new job as a building maintenance supervisor that pays near the same, but will require more hours. I just hope to get away from the toxic environment I am currently in. I have quit booze and smoking pot a week ago, and that has been difficult. I expected my anxiety to lessen but I feel like it has gotten worse at night, but I am sticking with it. Hopefully I can become a stronger person.
There is fear that I will not succeed in new job, but I can not wait to no longer be manipulated and lied to everyday by my pest control job.
@diligentMoon8736
Dear Beloved,
I can feel your pain from having endured the toxic behaviour for the past six years. It is deeply painful when people lie and manipulate you every day. It can severely affect someone's mental well-being, but it does not have to affect them permanently. You can always work towards healing. Moving away from the stressful environment can itself support your healing.
We cannot compel people to be the way we expect them to be. It is not wise to continue to hurt ourselves because of their behaviour. We cannot control their behaviour. We can only learn to respond in a way that protects our emotional well-being.
Congratulations on your new job. I also hope that you find the supportive environment you are hoping for.
I am proud of you for quitting alcohol and cannabis a week ago. That must have been difficult. Your worsening anxiety may be related to withdrawal symptoms. It may gradually improve as your body adjusts. You are doing your best to stay committed to it. You are showing strength by continuing to work through this.
We can feel anxious and uncertain about new jobs. Do not focus on what can go wrong. Shift your focus to what can go right. Do not worry about things beyond your control. Focus on what you can do.
I feel happy for you that you will no longer have to deal with being manipulated and lied to every day.
I wish you all the best.
Thank you, I am very scared and your thoughtful response made me feel less alone and understood, I will continue to work on healing and hope I can find a way to earn a living and not feel this way
@diligentMoon8736
You are always welcome. It is not wise to be afraid of something that is beyond our control. Focus on what you can do with what you have. You are not alone. I am with you, and I am proud of you for your efforts.
@diligentMoon8736 It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a really draining work environment for a long time, and I can understand why you’re looking forward to having a fresh start. Six years of feeling like you constantly have to deal with conflict, criticism and difficult interactions sounds exhausting.
It also sounds like you’ve made a lot of changes recently. Starting a new job while adjusting to being without alcohol and cannabis for a week is a lot to have happening at once, so it makes sense that you might be feeling anxious and unsettled right now.
I really liked what you said about hoping to become a stronger person. From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you’re already taking steps towards a different life, even though you’re understandably scared about whether the new job will work out. You don’t have to have everything figured out immediately. You’re allowed to take the new job one day at a time.
What are you most looking forward to at your new job?
I hope to learn new things and make myself a important part of a team, hopefully.
I hope to spend less time working outside, this summer has been very hot outside.
Maybe being able to have a lunch as well.
@diligentMoon8736
Hang in there diligent....pest control is a known meat grinder. It's not a regulated business and so many con artists and scammers are involved in that biz. Nothing new either. You sound like you're in a better place now. Keep on keeping on!
Congrats on your new job!
I definitely relate to the feelings you described at your old workplace. It feels hard trying to make everyone happy, no one is ever satisfied.
