Help

I am a 20-year-old nursing student, balancing church, school, home, and personal problems.

I self-diagnosed as having CPTSD.

My problem is that, when I look back at myself before, when I was still in my first year, I would find myself as very competitive, diligent in studying, and more passionate in this course. She is disciplined and trusts herself that she can do it and will do it no matter what the odds are. She also had a situationship alongside it.

After the situationship ended, her life took a wild turn. What was expected as an academic comeback drew out the worst of her childhood traumas, unable to recover easily. Now, even pulling out a book and staying in it to read would be very difficult, as my mind is filled with trauma and self-blame.

Scores in exams keep dragging, and I can't set my mind to discipline in what course I am taking right now. I am being less passionate about it. It feels like a part of me has vanished and has lost its purpose, color, and light.

I don't know what happened to me. This is completely the version of me that I am scared of becoming. I don't know how to overcome this.