Hi everyone!

It’s my first post on this app and I just realised that it’s an option in here, lol. So, the thing is, I am in my yearly 20s and since finishing school I feel psychologically stuck for a pretty long time now (years). I don’t have a job, I am not studying or basically professionally developing in anything. But I want to, a lot. I want to gain knowledge and be better version of myself, and I know, that for the most part I’ll be able to do that. But every time it comes to actually making serious decisions like going in a uni or sending my resume somewhere I get so anxious that my brain forcibly stops thinking like it’s been frozen. I feel very unworthy of having a job or making any serious achievements. And I feel like this every day. Some people probably think that I am lazy or that I like not doing anything, but I hate it. I can’t find a job, but also I can’t relax, I barely ever watch movies or play anything, or rest in other ways than sleep. And I am tired of it, somehow I was able to do some progress in this job thing. I searched for job vacancies, made a resume, and prepared an answers for a possible job interview, but I am still super-stressed and have no idea on how to explain my employer why I’ve been doing nothing for years. Attending some short courses was my maximum in this time. Should I lie and made something up? I am afraid I may start complaining about life, beg for the job and humiliate myself. I have nowhere else to go and ask for help with this issue, if anyone had similar experience in their life or can share their opinion as an employer I’d be very grateful to hear it, thanks!