I Don’t Know What to Do

Hi. I’m new to 7 Cups. I came here because I don’t have anyone to talk to but my husband. I don’t have any friends, only acquaintances.

I work as a site director for any after school program. I’ve worked for the company for 10 years.

This year has been rough. I’ve dealt with a lot of staff changes, and I have some challenging kids. I even had one child flip another and gave her a concussion!

Long story short… last week a child didn’t show up at the program. It’s almost always because they were absent at school, went home early or picked up. Parents are suppose to notify us of those situations, but 90% DON’T.

I forgot to call the parent that the child wasn’t there. It wasn’t neglect or not doing my job… I forgot.

Turns out the teacher put her on the bus (even though she was suppose to come to us). She was dropped off at home and no one was there (she’s a 3rd grader). A stranger found her and took her home. Mom talked to the person via her Ring camera until a neighbor got home to take the child.

when mom called me, she wanted me to find out what happened. I went straight to the principal who called the teacher. The teacher said both she and the girl forgot it was Wednesday and she was suppose to go to our program.

i felt bad enough, but my boss showed up on Friday and we got into it. I DON’T have a “backbone,” and never stand up for myself. I tried this time because 100% of the blame is on ME for the situation. Mom is not blaming the teacher at all. Mom is “out for blood” as far as I’m concerned.

my boss sent me home (no pay) and said she’ll set up

a ZOOM meeting for Monday. I didn’t think about it at that time, but why a ZOOM meeting and not a phone call? She’s supppse to tell me how many days I’m expelled with no pay.

Now I’m stressed out over a ZOOM meeting. I’m worried the BIG bosses will be there, and the mom. If that is the case, I don’t want to participate.

my husband wants me to quit. He said he rather deal with the loss of income than my mental health. He said don’t even given them 2 weeks because it’s only a part time job. I said I would give 2 weeks to be professional.

i have been looking for a new job. I’m a college drop out (only as Associates degree), 56 years old, obese, health issues and no real skills except being a “babysitter,” which is what I do now (care for kids K-6th grade). I apply for jobs, but don’t even get interviews. My resume was professionally written too.

I haven’t been happy with my job for a while now, but I gave up looking for another job for the above mentioned reasons.

I’m afraid of my “punishment,” as well as having to face mom (she’s not a nice person to begin with). My boss is also being mean towards me rather than show even the slightest empathy towards me for my stupid mistake. She DOES’NT have my back at all.

I’ve also been embarrassed in front of my co-workers.

My husband wants me to quit…and I do too. But I can’t find another job. What if months, or a year goes by with no job? I’ll feel like I’m useless, and we’d have to stress about money.

I’m scared.

I’m depressed.

I am at a loss as to what I should do.

I DON’T want to do a ZOOM meeting. I DON’T want to have to defend myself with the BIG bosses.

I admit I’m partially to blame (the teacher is the one who put her on the bus). I also feel horrible about it. But my boss brought a wrath upon me, and I don’t know what else to expect.

I’m sorry for my long rant. I appreciate anyone who read to this point.

ANY advice or suggestions is welcomed.

Thank you. ❤️