My coworkers are weirdly unrelatable
I have absolutely nothing in common with my coworkers and I don’t know what to do about it. I try my best to engage and relate to them, but they seem to find me juvenile based on my main interests (which I have done nothing more than mention to them) and don’t really try to engage or relate to me much. We are all the same age, btw.
Generally, my hobbies and free time revolve around video games and art. Because of this, I don’t read much or watch many movies/tv because video games are really long choose-your-own-adventure movies or I write my own stories. I am also asexual, so I don’t have any significant others.
Unfortunately, my coworkers interests revolve around music, books, tv shows, movies, tattoos, or romantic relationships and NOTHING ELSE. I’ve tried to engage with them especially about music and tattoos, but it turns out I can’t relate with them at all on those because I don’t like attending concerts and I don’t have any tattoos, which seems to invalidate me for some reason. I have tried relating to them about tv and movies too, but I am not up-to-date on the hottest new films and shows because I don’t watch them.
Most conversations are about drama from their romantic relationships, which is something I can’t relate to on any level and they will talk about this drama in anxious circles for 12-hours straight! It’s torture.
Considering my coworkers find me juvenile about my interests and roll their eyes at me when ever it’s mentioned, and the fact I also find them juvenile for talking about dating drama for hours straight like it’s high school (but I do not roll my eyes at them for it), I can only conclude my coworkers are aliens from space that learned all human interaction from studying 20th-century human media and slept through their human empathy lessons. Talking to them is like talking to a brick wall sometimes. I’m not terribly concerned about our relationship, I just find them dreadfully boring most of the time and would like to find something interesting to talk about.
The only thing we all have in common is pretty severe ADHD, which I think plays a major part in this lol.
@FrostFeather
It doesn’t sound like you’re the problem here. Sometimes you end up in a workplace where the personalities around you just don’t match yours, and no amount of trying to “relate” makes the conversations feel meaningful. You don’t owe anyone the same hobbies or the same way of talking about life. And honestly, rolling their eyes at your interests while expecting you to sit through hours of relationship drama says more about their emotional maturity than yours.
I’d stop trying to force common ground. Keep things polite, keep it light, and save your real energy for people who actually get you. You don’t need to change who you are to fit a room that isn’t built for you. And if conversations with them feel like talking to a wall, treat them like background characters at work, not the whole story of your social life. You deserve people who don’t treat your interests like a punchline.
@iPHOENIX
Thank you for your reply, it’s nice to get some validation that my coworkers are really rude and it’s not just me. Sometimes I’m tempted to roll my eyes back, but I refuse to be the type of person that mocks people for their personal problems, no matter how small. The drama might be annoying to me, but to them, it’s a significant problem in their personal lives. Just wish I would be thrown the same bone once in a while.
Unfortunately, I work in the medical field, where petty and spiteful behavior is ironically an epidemic. I’m getting a pair of earbuds so I can listen to podcasts at work to entertain myself/drown out the soul-suckingly lame drama. Believe it or not, my coworkers aren’t even that bad. They’re petty, but at least they’re not spiteful. Rolling their eyes is the worst they do, which makes them practically angels compared to most places.
@FrostFeather
I really respect the way you talk about them. Even when they’re dismissive toward you, you’re still choosing not to belittle their problems or take cheap shots back; that says a lot about your character.
And honestly, the medical field is intense. From the outside, I know how much pressure, burnout, and emotional noise comes with that environment. Team effort matters there, even if the personalities don’t always click, and you’re doing the right thing by keeping things steady instead of escalating small frustrations into bigger conflicts.
Getting earbuds, focusing on your work, and not making it a bigger deal than it needs to be is probably the healthiest approach. You’re handling it with more grace than most people would.
