worthless bum
i’m 27. i work in tech. i left my job in january after an extended mental health leave due to stress and burnout only 2 years after starting. it was my first full time position in my career. i like my field in principle but i cannot stand the people in it or the direction its going in.
i am too scared to job hunt. i cannot even bring myself to properly update my resume despite having silicon valley work experience. everything i hear about job hunting is complete nightmare. the time i’ve had off has been the most i’ve ever lived in my life. i am extremely worried that i am now completely unemployable due to the gap in my work experience. everything feels like it needs to be ON all the time. like life is an endless revolving door of working and grinding and working and grinding and there’s no time for breaks or for friends. i cannot be employed anymore because the break i’ve been taking is making me valueless.
i have lost any and all self-confidence related to work and career. i do not believe i am cut out for a job. if you are not cut out for a job you are not cut out to be alive. that is the world we live in. i am not cut out to be alive. i am a worthless bum that provides nothing and holds no value. there is no future for me.
@versatileOwl4907
You believe lies that are taking life away from you. U connect your value and worth with your career and whatever.
You are not a worthless bum, I know you may not believe this, but you are made in the image of God, and for God you have such worth that there is nothing more priceless. It is not tied to your performances.
You have value. And with the job... what about trying a different field, trying new jobs... you dont have to have "the best career and most successful career", maybe just search for something, u know? Why not trying
Hello, thank you very much for responding. I sometimes feel external judgement and pressure that internalize way too hard. Passing comments about job hunting and how young people don’t want to work anymore are the kinds I internalize and use to tell myself that I’m worthless. I want to work and use my knowledge base for something useful but it feels like that’s no longer possible in tech.
I’ve started just looking at job boards to see what’s out there, so I guess that’s a step. I still have intense anxiety about the hunt though. From fake postings and AI screenings and resumes it just seems like a world I cannot optimize myself to and I don’t want to optimize myself to that. I don’t want to contribute to the nonstop hustle grind 80 hour work week culture. I want to use my tech knowledge, clock in and clock out and earn a wage that allows me to live.
I’ve thought about changing fields but I still want something in tech and I can’t currently afford to go to school for something new. Even in writing this it feels like I’m just articulating all the things wrong with me.
Again, thank you very much for the response :)
@versatileOwl4907
I can´t walk in your shoes and I dont know the situation and what u go through. But you know, you... your soul... mental health... it is far more important than anything else, than career. Maybe you need to change a job, field... at least for some time... I dont know, but think about these things. And with tech field... you can have it as a hobby in free time and study and learn, you know? What do you think about it?
Hi, thank you for responding and I’m very sorry for my late reply.
Maybe I could change fields, though for the time being I just want something stable enough to allow me to move out of my family house. My life feels very up in the air right now, which is interesting, because being in tech means you’re supposed to be “set for life” and I felt anything but that in silicon valley. If I couldn’t make it there, how am I supposed to make it anywhere else?
Hi, thank you for responding and I’m very sorry for my late reply.
Maybe I could change fields, though for the time being I just want something stable enough to allow me to move out of my family house. My life feels very up in the air right now, which is interesting, because being in tech means you’re supposed to be “set for life” and I felt anything but that in silicon valley. If I couldn’t make it there, how am I supposed to make it anywhere else?
Well I'm going to agree with you on how the world works like 95%. But if you're still breathing it means the race isn't over yet.
Take a deep breath cause yeah, you're back at zero and honestly you'd rather take the last breath trying cause you are not a quieter.
All you got before, was your effort. And somehow you've convinced yourself that you can't do it again, where's your spirit.
You'll need to first work things out with your mentally because a negative mind set won't get you far and a positive mind set protects you from alot. Small steps, starting with you then the rest will fall in place. I hope everything goes well with you 🙏.
Well I'm going to agree with you on how the world works like 95%. But if you're still breathing it means the race isn't over yet.
Take a deep breath cause yeah, you're back at zero and honestly you'd rather take the last breath trying cause you are not a quieter.
All you got before, was your effort. And somehow you've convinced yourself that you can't do it again, where's your spirit.
You'll need to first work things out with your mentally because a negative mind set won't get you far and a positive mind set protects you from alot. Small steps, starting with you then the rest will fall in place. I hope everything goes well with you 🙏.
@versatileOwl4907 are you just venting, or did you want feedback?
If the latter:
Why be one of a hundred resumes on a desk? What can you do that others cannot do?
There is no law that says you must work for someone else. Find a problem, develop a solution for that problem, and sell your solution.
You're in a toxic industry that will only get worse. If you're good at IT stuff, develop a course, get a loan to start a school, coach/tutor people at struggling companies.