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versatileOwl4907
1 2,063 M Hopeful Heart 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts125 Forum posts43 Forum upvotes55 Current upvotes55 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2026 Member sinceMay 3, 2021
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Recent forum posts
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worthless bum
Work & Career / by versatileOwl4907
Last post
 June 26th
...See more i’m 27. i work in tech. i left my job in january after an extended mental health leave due to stress and burnout only 2 years after starting. it was my first full time position in my career. i like my field in principle but i cannot stand the people in it or the direction its going in. i am too scared to job hunt. i cannot even bring myself to properly update my resume despite having silicon valley work experience. everything i hear about job hunting is complete nightmare. the time i’ve had off has been the most i’ve ever lived in my life. i am extremely worried that i am now completely unemployable due to the gap in my work experience. everything feels like it needs to be ON all the time. like life is an endless revolving door of working and grinding and working and grinding and there’s no time for breaks or for friends. i cannot be employed anymore because the break i’ve been taking is making me valueless. i have lost any and all self-confidence related to work and career. i do not believe i am cut out for a job. if you are not cut out for a job you are not cut out to be alive. that is the world we live in. i am not cut out to be alive. i am a worthless bum that provides nothing and holds no value. there is no future for me.
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struggling to make connections
Depression Support / by versatileOwl4907
Last post
 January 28th, 2024
...See more this is dumb but getting ghosted over and over again by people i tried to date is messing up my ability to connect with people in any context. i am afraid of people because they keep hurting me. i am afraid of trying to make new friends because they will probably hurt me but i need to make friends. i’ve developed a self harm problem. i can’t even get responses on here anymore i am afraid of people
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ghosted
Anxiety Support / by versatileOwl4907
Last post
 January 20th, 2024
...See more every single person i’ve tried to date has ghosted me. no matter if i met them online or in person, no matter how good the vibes were, nothing. i know that when you’ve been ghosted you shouldn’t blame yourself but when every single person does it to me how am i not supposed to blame myself? i also know that maybe i should take a break from dating but i’ve never been in a relationship before and im in my mid 20s. is this all there is to it? what is so fundamentally inhuman about me that not a single person can muster up the courage to just reject me with words?
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why do i keep getting ghosted
Depression Support / by versatileOwl4907
Last post
 December 28th, 2023
...See more a friend i had for over 5 years stopped talking to me last year out of the blue. he sent me a message. i responded. then i never heard from him again. a person i met a few months ago and i really wanted to be friends with hasn't responded to my messages in a few weeks. i guess she started dating someone and figured i wasn't worth her time anymore. my therapist fired me a month ago. what's wrong with me. please somebody help me. i am desperate and lonely and scared. my confidence has been severely shaken. i can't keep my old friends and i can't keep new friends. what's wrong with me. why can't people just be upfront and say that i'm not worth their time anymore. why can't they just say that i'm too stupid or ugly or too much of a weird loser. help
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isolating myself
Depression Support / by versatileOwl4907
Last post
 January 20th, 2024
...See more it feels so good to cut myself off from people. over the years i've developed a somewhat intricate system from making sure that i never see any messages from people when they text me. sometimes i want to delete my number and throw my phone away. want to know why i love cutting myself off from others? because when i open up my messages tab and see a string of messages i've gotten no response to. no new messages for days at a time. why am i like this? my birthday is a month and i'm so worried i'm going to spend it alone. i moved to a new city. i'm home for the holidays but i'm going back there next week. i've only made 1 friend in the new city. i don't usually make this much of a fuss about my birthday especially this far in advance but this is one that i really want to work out. when i told a friend that my bday was coming up and i didn't want to feel lonely they said i should come down to meet them. i don't know if they meant that or not because they haven't really responded to my messages for a few weeks now, i think they forgot about me. look at how stupid all of this is. look at the state the world is in and all i can think about is my birthday and getting texts back. i need so much reassurance it's ridiculous. i don't know anymore. i'm tired and i need someone to hug me for a few hours and say that they care
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i don't know anymore
Depression Support / by versatileOwl4907
Last post
 February 22nd, 2024
...See more my therapist fired me. my friends are far away from me. i live in a new city. once again i'm watching the person i want get *** the way they're supposed to because i'm too scared to even tell them i like them. i am a coward. i wasn't a normal teenager and here i am. a child in a adults body watching the real adults be normal. my therapist fired me. i don't think i was ever meant to have anybody. i literally do not know who to talk to anymore. i wish i wasn't the person i was
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my therapist fired me
Depression Support / by versatileOwl4907
Last post
 November 27th, 2023
...See more i need some reassurance. is this normal. she told me i had abandonment issues and then abandoned me.
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dying alone
Depression Support / by versatileOwl4907
Last post
 November 26th, 2023
...See more i feel like some people were put on this earth to be happy, and the others were made to watch other people be happy. i cannot shake the feeling that i don’t deserve to get what i want, i’m only allowed to watch the people around me get what i want and do the things i want to do and meet the people i want to meet. i know it’s not good to compare myself to my friends all the time but i find it hard not to do this. i realized i’ve been living in an unhealthy and somewhat abusive environment for the last 8 years and i feel like it stole my best years from me. when you’re in your early 20s you’re supposed to spend that time having fun and being independent, but i didn’t get those opportunities. i’m a very late bloomer so i spent all of my youth watching my friends and peers go through normal developmental experiences while i either lag behind or simply don’t experience them i compare myself to them because i have nothing better to do. my life wasn’t meant for fun experiences, so i listen to my friends talk about their funny stories and i live vicariously through them. i live inside of my head because the house i live in had messed up my self perception. in my head i’m normal. i’m independent and outgoing and i live alone and have a partner. i take my friends’ real life stories and imagine myself as the one experiencing them because that’s the closest i’ll come to feeling like a normal person. i cry myself to sleep at the thought of anyone calling me beautiful because no one in my life has ever said that to me before. i was never meant to really get what i want, i was only born to watch other people be normal adults while i straggle along like a dumb overgrown child. i need a hug
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