hey guys

I miss you Eric, I'm sorry that things turned out the way they did. I have your dogs now and they miss you too. I'm greatful for everything you taught me and the time we spent together. I hope one day to see you again. Thank you for helping me through life and being there when my dad wasn't able to

I hope one day you will understand the pain you put me through. I hope you’ll understand the love I gave you even when you didn’t deserve it. I know you said you loved me still but even after we talked about our past you still didn’t seem to understand what you did that made me so upset.

you just saw me as crazy and overly jealous. You said it didn’t matter what you did because we weren’t in a relationship. Yet we were trying to fix it. Why would you do what you did when you knew I was trying to fix it? Why would you do what you did while actively trying to fix it with me.

I’ll never understand. I just hope you are okay.

I still love you even though I wish I didn’t.

I wish I could hate you but a part of me wishes we could’ve made things better.

I’ll never understand and you’ll never fully explain to me and I have to live with that.

maybe one day I can move on as easily as you did.

maybe.

-to him even though he’ll never know.

In the heart of my heart I stand, 

To "that person" , I loved you so much. It's okay neither did you reciprocate later, nor did you make use of me, I guess. I just take time to register that it might not work out romantically between us, as things seemed rather promising initially. But later situations only drifted us away. I miss you. I still feel you make my heart beat both faster and slower at the same time :) Anyway it'll be fine I know, whatever way God wants it to be. Just be okay, dear.

El amor no hace daño ni te obliga a nada. En estos momentos le diría: Me obligaste a hacer cosas que yo no quería, y ello me pesa todos los días. Mi filosofía de vida es dura, pero me hiciste creer que no valía la pena. No me odio, me amo. 

Ahora, mi mayor muestra de amor es despojarme de todo sentimiento (Incluso si ese sentimiento es el remordimiento). Prefiero perdonar lo imperdonable, ya que no quiero que ni el mismo enojo me una a vos. Lo verdaderamente loco, es que nunca te quise ni me enamoré. Calculo que no te di ni un poco mi corazón, y eso te hizo enojar. 

No me arrepiento. 

dear ****,

im sorry for what i did. To both you and *******. I wanted us to be friends again but I know that won’t be possible because of how you guys feel about me. I miss you. I miss calling you and I miss hearing you and your family. I hope I’ll heal from this and won’t think about it constantly. I hope you guys heal. I also hope you guys give me the chance to fix things but I know that’s a one percent chance. I love you and I don’t want you to dislike me or not trust me. My soul feels empty without you. I feel as though nobody liked me as much as you liked me. If our souls met for a reason, I hope we can be good again. I hope you unblock me. I love you so much. I just don’t want you to think I did anything to hurt you. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I did what I did. But I want to change. And I feel like it would be so much easier if you were in my life willing to give me a second chance. I know you have people in your life who love you. I’m glad you aren’t as upset as me and you have them to help you. But I just want you to know that I love you. And I’m sorry I wasn’t a good friend or “sister” to you.

ps. You using air quotes on the word best friend when you last messaged me literally broke me. You are my best friend in every other universe except this one. I hope we both heal and this can just be another friendship that I can talk about no without any hesitation or getting sad. I wish I could fast forward. But I’m going to work on myself for you. I love you and I’m sorry.

Love the name. Hope you know you are beautiful inside and out and no matter what you are always a good person. The greatness in you is always a choice and it's awesome to see you always making the right choices. Such a blessing and compassionate person to think of others! You are loved!

@Anyakn0625 To E: I’m not sorry. You made me feel too much sadness and anger for me to be sorry. I missed someone that hurt me, too much. You missed someone that didn’t want you, too much. Gossip about how I made you obsessed and I led you on and how it’s all my fault. Keep withholding that from me. Keep lying. Keep being immature and being enabled by other immature people. Keep telling yourself that everyone you love leaves you. Keep getting told that you’ve changed. Keep confiding in others for happiness. Keep being reckless. I don’t care about you anymore. You’ve always exhausted me and taken too much of my energy. You’ve always consumed my thoughts and daydreams and I’m tired of it. I know I’ve moved on from your presence, and it’s time I said it aloud. 

To my late grandfather,

im so sorry, words can’t express how much i regret the decisions ive made. I’m sorry i didnt treat you the way I should’ve growing up. Or try and have a relationship with you. The night you texted me on my 15th birthday, I should’ve responded even if it would charge me the long distance. I wish I tried with you and I’m so sorry I didn’t. I’m sorry for the way my mother treated you. With the little memories we shared I hope you know I will cherish them forever. I love you and miss you so much.