I really don't like the phrase, "Not black enough" or "That's white"
I'm not gonna like sugarcoat this because I want to get genuine commentary. These phrases make me extremely uncomfortable and are sorta gatekeep -y? Like I've expressed certain thoughts and opinions and responses I get are along the lines of me "Having a white attitude" or "Not being black enough". My mom talks about it, people make jokes about it. I feel like I can't enjoy anything because they're "for white people" or that I have a "white personality" (whatever that means). Idk, just like, tell me im not like out of my mind here.
@y0k0
Hi there!
Being mixed, I can relate to the frustration of hearing individuals' comments about my words, actions, or behaviours being defined by both or either of my races. Truth be told, it doesn't make much sense for something so simple as one's personality traits or points of being "too black" or "too white"... It can make anyone of the same/similar ethnic background or experience to think "How am I acting a colour?".
Questioning such comments and reflecting on how you honestly feel about them is valid and reasonable, in my opinion. It can make one look into the underpinning factors behind such commentary, such a whether it was said without an intention to upset or hurt, or simply out of stereotyping and spite.
You're definitely not out of your mind and have the right to be understood for the point you're wanting to make.
By the way, I'm a Listener here and my chats are available for whenever you'd like to speak further about such frustrations. Name a time and/or day and we'll sort something out.
Until then, take care🙌🏽
I have been definitely been told that I act like a White girl, act like a White person, is from the white neighborhood, dances like a stiff white girl, it is a white girl inside of my body, that I talk like a white girl, and talk real proper. I am an African-American woman from the hood. I have always been very diverse. I listen to all musical genres, watch all film genres, interesting in things worldwide, and even greet people in their formal greetings like place my hands together and bowing to Chinese people in Chinese restaurants (other found it weird & had said that I have issues or is crazy). I am so much like Angelina Jolie. I am like the Black version of Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. People expect all Black people to be a certain way. Because I am from the hood, one guy found it hard to believe that I do not eat with my hands. He had posted it on Facebook saying "Girl, you are from the pjs and talking about you do not eat with your hands". I love being Black. However, Black people & many people of different races and nationalies have ignorant and lazy ways of thinking. They think all people from the hood is the same, all Black people is the same, and all people with mental illnesses is the same. They hold onto this way of thinking regardless of how much research and scientific studies and information that you say them. The more you try to disprove them, they more that they will still hold onto their lies and wrong thinking. I have learned overall not to pay them attention. I have learned to be myself and distance myself away from around people like that. They are feeling down and bad and want you to feel the same way.
I've felt this way so many times and noticed it in m community. I don't really understand the need to stereotype other communities but I see many play it off by calling it a joke. But in the end, it can make people feel bad about themselves because it's often said with mean intentions and in a derogatory tone and labeling that as a joke normalizes bullying. It carries that connotation of you will never be good enough for qualities out of your control or using race as an excuse to not understanding your character. Therefore, lending a listening ear with someone who won't impose their standards might offer a distraction or some comfort. I'll be in the chats if u ever wanna talk :) and I wish u the best of luck with this.
@y0k0
yes oh my gosh yes!! i can't tell you how many times i've felt like a "coconut" (brown outside, white inside) and how invalidating that feels to my race! it's absolutely gatekeeping and every person of color deserves to be able to explore their own interests without feeling forced to justify their racial identity. tbh it kind of feels like a tool to uphold white supremacy, like assuming white is the "default" and you have to fit all of these criteria of your interests or whatever in order to be perceived as a person of color, even though that's far from true
It is a problem that people associate certain things with certain social identities rather than looking at the individual as a whole diverse being who has the autonomy to choose whatever they want to do. This is a problem a lot of us face and it's unfair because it can limit our actions and feel like we're doing something wrong when it's completely okay
