Depression Support Chat (7/29/2015)
Amelia
August 1st, 2015
This was the first of a series of Wednesday night (10p EST) guided discussions in the Depression Support Room--feel free to join us next week! Tonight's discussion was attended by both members and listeners! Below is a summary of the questions as well as some of the responses (for confidentiality reasons, I chose to leave member/listener names off of the specific quotes):
(1) When we are depressed, sometimes we are not thinking as objectively as other people about ourselves and our situation, right? (yes responses all around) So, that being said, if we asked a friend to describe you, what would they list as your two best qualities?
------Loyal, positive attitude, caring, weird, kind, witty, sassy, brave, funny, honest, energetic, compassionate, intelligent, special, original
------Patient, genuine, understanding, nice, shy, strong, supportive, outgoing, sweet, self-aware
(2) So, now we know that we dont always see things the way others do when were depressed. And, sometimes people describe depression as being trapped in a bubble or stuck in the mud. Can you share with the group how it feels for you?
------Numb, lethargic, like youre sinking and falling into a hole, like theres someone inside of you that wants to come out, painful, confusing, a shadow hugging me at all times, a helpless person clinging to me for life support, physically painful, empty, like someone grabbing my arms and trying to pull me down to drown
------Its like everyone else is living life really easily and youre trying to hard but you just cant quite do it, lonely in the most extreme form, an ocean rising inside me, weighted, stuck in quicksand, undeserving, a black cloud over our heads that doesnt go away, the air is sucked from me, all of your hope is captured and held in a glass jar that you drop and break and the hope escapes, slow, lagging, self-hate, trapped, not myself, angry, like were wearing a mask, pretending, fake, suffocating, a never ending black hole, choking
(3) So, we know that depression impacts us all differently, but it does have an impact. So, how long have you felt depressions impact?
----Since age: 5, 6, 11, 12, 13, 14
----Entire life, too long…years and years, a few years, since my junior year of high school, for about 8 years, for about 12 years, ever since my mom died, for about 6 years
(4) Okay, so for each of you, is your depression fairly constant? Or do you find that it comes and goes? Can you describe how it comes and goes? Is it daily, hourly, monthly?
------Constant, may be able to distract sometimes but it is always there, depends on the time of day, mostly comes at night, constantly between overwhelmed and numb
------Gets worse with emotional events or triggers, rollercoaster ride, random and unpredictable, cyclical, situational, worse in the summer
(5) Our depression may come and go or be constant…and sometimes theres no clear cause for depression but other times there may be a trigger. Can you recall a specific event that led to your depression?
------I dont think I had a specific event, many events related to PTSD, being bullied, panic attacks, after relationship problems,
------Ive always had it, but something made it go full force.
(6) So, sometimes other strong emotions can lead to depression?
------Yes: shame, guilt, grief, fear, panic
------I think that, for me, the depression is always kind of there…hiding in the background…but certain events or situations may make it worse.
------I realized that you can feel depressed without reason, thats when people start judging you because you can have so many things going for you in life and you still dont feel it. So your family/friends believe you are making things up. I wish they knew how dangerous it its.
------Sometimes a depression can be so long and so deep that it really feels like it is all we are.
(7) Which symptoms of depression do you find the most challenging to deal with and why?
------Irritation, absolute constant exhaustion, anger, getting up and starting the day
------The sadness because it feels like theres no end.
------Insomnia…after a few days it makes me irrational and unpredictable.
------Id say the lack of motivation…Im very person-oriented and get up and go so its annoying.
------I found the suicidal thoughts the hardest to deal with…especially as there is such a taboo about talking about them.
------"I would say my self-harm is the hardest challenge.
------The self-hatred…you could ask anyone to quell your feelings that you have about why youre hating yourself; but, at the end of the day, youre your own worst enemy sometimes. Often you cant convince yourself you‘re worth something.
------When waking up becomes a chore.
(8) What kind of help and support do you have right now to deal with some of those tougher symptoms?
------Therapy, medications, being a listener here, gym, family, talking to people, swimming
------Controlled breathing, meditation, writing music, writing stories, writing poetry, learning to let go, art
(9) Gratitude is scientifically proven to make us happier. You can check out this video for more information: www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHv6vTKD6lg. What is one thing that you are thankful for right now?
------Boyfriend, being able to be myself without any strings attached, chocolate, my cats…so thankful that they exist!, food, listeners, my dog, my ability to write, my family, opportunity for tomorrow to be happy, my calmness, compassionate people, this support chat room
------I am thankful for 7 cups and all the kind and strong people I have met here.
------Grateful for life…cause its a pretty weird and amazing thing.
(10) If you could express gratitude to someone right now, who would it be, and what would you say?
------"I would thank my friends for not giving up on me.
------"My therapist."
------"My father."
------Probably to myself for being so positive and for fighting so much!
------Give them the biggest, warmest hug ever and tell them they saved my life.
------It would be my gf, and Id say ‘thanks for supporting me at my worst. Then I would give her a hug.
------I would thank my mentor for not letting me make him so mad that he quit!
------I would express gratitude towards my boyfriend for being so patient with me the last few weeks as I battle myself against relapsing.
------I would express gratitude for my boss for being so understanding about what Im going through and allowing me to open up.
------My mother…that she stayed with us and didnt leave…because there was no way that we couldve survived without her.
------My friend who was brave enough to say ‘you arent happy…whats wrong?
(11) Related Forum Activity
------Write down one thing that youre thankful for each day. Here is the forum post to do it in: https://www.7cups.com/forum/DepressionSupportCommunity_52/WelcomeIntroduceYourselfToTheDepressionSupportGroupIcebreakers_211/DepressionSupportActivities_17549/
(12) During the discussion, this question arose: Why do we sometimes feel weak when we are strong to fight depression?
------Get tired, feel we cannot fight it, because depression isnt simple, become physically drained, crushed by everything, weighed down, tired of holding a smile when it isnt true, get tired of saying Im okay, fighting but not getting better
------Well, one of depressions favorite things to do is to tell you that youre weak and make you feel guilty for how you feel.
------We get tired, both physically and mentally and tired of fighting and getting knocked down.
------Depression clouds my thoughts and distorts my perception of the entire world.
------Because others dont see our battle and dont always recognize our strength.
------Because a lot of times we are doing it all on our own…its an inner battle that no one else understands.
------Its just as easy to have a laugh or a smile but then depression drops itself like a weight.
------Im only positive for others.
------I get so tired…to a point where I cant even describe how I feel.
------Its really scary how I can fake it.
------Well, one of depressions favorite things to do is to tell you that youre weak and make you feel guilty for how you feel.
------We get tired, both physically and mentally and tired of fighting and getting knocked down.
------Depression clouds my thoughts and distorts my perception of the entire world.
------Because others dont see our battle and dont always recognize our strength.
------Because a lot of times we are doing it all on our own…its an inner battle that no one else understands.
------Its just as easy to have a laugh or a smile but then depression drops itself like a weight.
------Im only positive for others.
------I get so tired…to a point where I cant even describe how I feel.
------Its really scary how I can fake it.
Thanks to all who participated....hope to see you again next week. All are welcome to join--please check the community calendar for a list of guided discussions occuring in the Depression Support chat room!!
Attendees: @MissZ @RocketsMom @healingPalm92 @niamh333 @KfindingSpeaceK @CuteAsHeckie @mashedpotatoes @OceanMermaid @goalie28 @FreyFrey @HeyItsHeather @KM14 @LostGirl92 @JennyL @charmingSea4831 @Missingher @Vape @CoyotesInTheDark @GoldRaccoon @Orange21 compassionategirl12 @JohnnyAndrade @OverPouringCup @joyseeker @Tchocky @beautifullybroken @MeshuggahNSpice @hypnosis @Cehs9292 @BadTaxidermy @EnagmaticRebel22 @SadButtercup @shyTriangle3709 @amiableScarf1992 @PurpleFox125 @chicasad @Rheacreate @indigoPond8524 @Gut @NorthDUKEStar @Tjant2134 @affectionateAvocado35 @stillalive73 @Deeogie @easyOcean9915
niamh333
August 1st, 2015
Ace post @RocketsMom! I really enjoyed the chat and you lead it really well. I'm just gutted I had to leave early! Thanks so much :)
2 replies
@niamh333
I'm glad you enjoyed it!!! We'll be there next Wednesday if you want to join again :)
1 reply
niamh333
August 1st, 2015
I would love to! Unfortunately it's at 4am for me and I'm not usually up at that time.. but I may well be haha :)
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