Hard time

Hi there, I recently moved to abroad with my boyfriend after a very rough time between us. The last year has been very hard on both of us, he is dealing with a porn addiction and last March cheated on me with a porn star. He confessed to me after trying to take his life over the thought of loosing me. We stayed together and he did end up in hospital another time. Moving away with him was hard on me as it was a new country with no friends, work or routine that I need to keep me well. I reached out for help but the counselled was so full I only got in once. Last week I tried to commit suicide and two days later when I was back home my boyfriend left me. He says he doesnt care about me and that I was a horrible girlfriend. We did fight a bit the past few months but he was not working and never showed me any sexual affection with his addiction. I just felt so alone and it got the best of me. I just cant believe he left me when I needed him the most, yesterday was so hard I stayed in bed all day. I miss him. I just need help to get over this