What do you hate about yourself?
Depression is bizarre in how in alters the way we think. We may know logically that it is our depression making us think this way but knowing that doesn't invalidate it. So write down what exactly you hate about yourself, let it all out. Once you do look back at what you wrote. Hopefully documenting your thought process will make it easier to work through your issues. Plus we will all be here to help.
Everything
That im a shit husband and a shit father, im a quiter and sick of being me
I'm unattractive and too nice and forgiving. I have so many emotions and I don't know how to control them. I have commitment issues and broke my old best friend heart because I was scared to be in love with her. I get so anxious about the smallest things and I just cant seem to allow myself any happiness.
My inability to manage my emotions but I am honestly trying it's just hard.
I hate the fact that im alive most. Im a mistake. I ruined myself, and have no one to blame. I have awful thoughts that wont ever go away, im an awful person, and have a stupid personality. I feel empty all the time too, but the thing I hate most about myself is that im living, because I hate it.
My anger issues.
Ughhh they gets out of hand everytime.
I hate my inability to talk to people, and also my introversion and negativity.
i hate ny acne and weak skin in general. im naturally pale and i get marks and sores and stuff all the time and i dont know how to manage it. i've basically taken control of everything else i dont like about myself but acne has always been hard for me
The fact I am always second guessing myself and that I always end up hurting someone who I care about because of my own self-deprecating and self-hate. I try but it always seems to never be good enough.
Most things. Looks, height, voice, interests (I have very eclectic interests) style, lack of motivation (I'd rather just sit and watch the world go by while I wait to die.) I have been told, "You have a good face for radio." Some days just wish I didn't wake up and then I could stop being a burden.
@plumHuman1133 you are not a burden, there are so many different people in the world, the truly deserving ones are the ones that wish they could be better, what it means is that they are not selfish, they are loving, and they wont annoy the rest with false superiority:) low self esteem can be worked on ,and just for a day, you should think of all the things you can improve because ,yes, that is posssible with a little inspiration!
@Ylina I have a hard time believing all the great things you said. AFter a long time of getting knocked in the dirt and discarded with no explanations. When I see all the things going on around me and long to be part of them but never get that, "Hey come hang out with us again." It can be fairly disheartening. My favorite quote kind of sums it up. "You see everything, when the world doesn't see you." Liz Taylor, American Horror Story.
@plumHuman1133 there is a reason why society puts pressure on us for the way we should act , the way we should look , and everything that we feel we need to be,is because the vast majority likes to perpetuate bad habits .but quite often people realise that through the self criticism the constantly put themselves under , they have gained skills that others have not, and deserve to put the rules aside and be happy as they are.
@Ylina I can understand that. I have mostly lived my life that way. However, I had friends that were like minded so it was no big deal. Now, I have nobody around me that gets it, and nobody ever wants to hang out with me past that first time. They always seem to have something else to do. ANYTHING else is more like it. I also believe they realize I'm not going to get them an "In" to that next step on the ladder of sucess. I just want to have a friend, I'm not into backstabbing or any of that garbage to get ahead in life. I make a good living on my merits and really don't have that cutthroat approach o my job.I try to socilaize, but I have trouble making friends. I have to trust you before I "Let you in" to see the real me. I have the "me" that pretty much everyone gets to see, and the "Me" that is who I really am that few have encountered. I developed this approach a long time ago when I found that I was wearing my heart on my shoulder and was tired of being stepped on, hurt, ridiculed and teased. So now they get the guy who is everything the opposite, cold, calculating, granite like, and intimidating. Sadly, I have found very few reasons to not be that guy. If they can't get in, they can't hurt me. At least not that THEY could see. These things all connect to make life terrible when I am not distracted by my work. It saddens me when I can't find anybody that wants to hang out with me because I'm funny, have good stories whatever qualifiers you to put in there. That is the true source of my issues.
