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It's past midnight here and I feel kind of tired, and guilty and empty. I just don't feel like sleeping, lately the hours go by and even if it's late I just feel stressed and frustrated with myself because I "don't do anything", and some things that I do I don't even wanna really do them so why do I do them? Because I'm scared of what might happen if I don't, because people might get mad and I've been protecting myself from that my whole life and I'm an adult, I shouldn't feel like that anymore but I don't feel like I have much of a choice, because I don't wanna be hurt and feel like I disappoint people because it makes me doubt myself. And all of that makes me feel annoyed with myself and with people, because I know better than that, than to act like that, but it's hard, and it's hard to go against feelings that I've lived by my whole life to come out unscathed, to not know what will happen makes me feel anxiety.
This is my rant of the day/week I guess
Samething here , so far with the sleep I try not to think at anything and concetrate on my breath and just being there , with the things I don't want to do, I recently started not doing them anymore , not all of them , but baby steps 😅 I still feel tired all the time but sometimes I try stop thinking that i'm tired and forget for a period and not sense it anymore , I wish I would be more helpfull , but i'm just starting , will update you if new tricks appear.
I don’t know what you’ve gone through, but I can hear that it’s left you with a lot of pain. It can be frustrating to carry these things to adulthood, but we’ve been conditioned by our past experiences to think and feel a certain way, and it can be hard to break that cycle without some support. Your actions are a way to avoid that pain and disappointment you’ve described, and I can hear your frustration that it’s still continuing. I was been in a similar rut and it got me frustrated too. The fact that you’ve recognized it’s a pattern and that maybe you want to challenge this anxiety at some point is really courageous. You’re brave for sharing this and I hope you find ways to keep talking about it.
@moonfawn012 putting up a barrier to protect yourself isn't necessarily a bad thing 💖 getting through day to day life is not easy with depression and anxiety🙁 so don't put to much pressure on yourself, I know that's easier said than done but please take care of yourself 💖 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗💗
Thank you very much everyone for the sweet words🥺❤️💫 wish you all the best.