2025

You too ð¥°

You too ð¥°

Try looking on *** for a local hiking club. You'll get exercise plus a chance to make friends. I am very much in the same boat and this worked for me. Or try finding a local group for a hobby you like.

I will be your support system whether you are doing A levels or not. But it would be best not to look at any more university programs for now. That's okay. There are solid paths that you can take that don't involve university. They are equally valuable. You are equally valuable.

But wallowing in your emotional pain isn't going to move you forward. It is why your therapist wants to take a break. Let's try to find a way for you to get back to being able to see her though? Okay? 

Your solution isn't sitting in your room thinking about things. That will only bring you more pain and greater risk for self harm. So my suggestion is going to change now. You need to get outside of your home for at least a half hour every day. You need to only be in your room alone for maybe 2-3 hours a day. Limit your time on the computer. Notice all of these are actions. They aren't trying to change your thoughts. Trying to say "I shouldn't be thinking that right now" makes things worse. You need to start distracting your brain by honing in on the present. 

Have you ever done the exercise of the 5 senses? Any time you are considering self harm you need to name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and one thing you can taste. Practice this regularly. 

Once you are calmer then you can start planning out how to get some kind of graphic design or other training. But you probably won't be there for another week or so. But then I am going to start pushing you to do art. Daily. That will also be a way for you to heal. You are right about that. It is all about the actions that you take to focus on the present.

You can do this. 

The majority of people don't get college degrees in life. Do I think they aren't as valuable as those that do? I absolutely do not. But for me a college degree isn't about the job that you get at the end of it. None of it is ever about the job. It is about the ability to think critically about what the world is like and always want to know more about it. Those are skills that college can hone, but you can also learn them outside the classroom.

I absolutely won't think any less of you without A-levels. No need to feel shame or inferiority. You are not those things. You are just finding your way forward. I read a story last night about a woman who fought a battle with cancer and then decided that she would climb a mountain in Peru to celebrate. But she couldn't make it up the mountain because she wasn't strong enough. As she went back down after getting halfway she was beating herself up until a voice in her head said "What if the summit wasn't the goal?" And she realized that goals shift and that's fine. It is okay for you too.

So focus right now on getting outside, out of your room and away from that computer. That is what will bring healing to your brain because you slowly but surely won't be thinking about it as much. So tomorrow tell me what you did away from the computer. It can be really, really simple. 

I am hoping that you are taking some time away from the computer and just getting out. If so, that is excellent. If not, you are still loved and I am still thinking about you.

There is a slight chance that I won't be on tomorrow night because I have late night fundraising dinner to attend. 

I was able to get on this evening. Sending you some peace. 

May you be resting, getting outside more, and finding a path forward. I am looking forward to hearing about your art when you are ready. 

Know that I am thinking about you daily. I am hoping you had a restful day. 

You have still got this. An awesome life is still within your reach.