6 years
I was diagnosed a couple of things back in 2019, and so every time I think about that year I'm reminded of how everything changed in my life for me. Now I'm currently seeing my third therapist, going through my fourth try at treatment with medicine (? I think), and sometimes It passes through my mind the fear of if I'm ever going to truly "get better" and stop feeling sick, or if I'm going to be like this the rest of my life. I'm really scared, but at the same time It feels also "comforting" the thought of "feeling bad"/"being unstable", as it could mean to be better taken cared of by people or at least expecting it from them. I don't want to but then why does everything feel harder than it should sometimes? Why does everybody else not find it hard to do some things and for me it is? Why can't I find somebody that loves me? And why do my parents not accept me and love me for who I am? Is it so hard?
This is me venting ***
@moonfawn012
i am so sorry, you are struggling so much. I am proud of you for continuing to seek help, and trying new treatments/methods. It can take time to find the right combination of things that are effective.
From experience I know, I know there is a comfort of familiarity with feeling bad. At some point we get used it, & feeling better or even good can feel odd.
I can relate to the questions you posed at the end. I have asked them many times myself, and still do. I do t have the answers for you, it please know, I am with you, in these thoughts, feelings, & questions.
You're really sweet for the support, I hope you can be eased of your burdens one day too. Thank you 🫂 <3
