All advice for getting out of depression is just act like you're not depressed?
Do you ever feel like the advice people give about getting out of depression is to live like you don't have depression? Fake it till you make it. To me at least it sounds like you say to someone your leg is broken and they say "just walk around a little bit, you'll feel better, your problem is that you're not using your leg".
Eat healthy, exercise, socialize... I can barely do all of these things when I'm feeling ok, let alone when I'm in depression. Engage in pleasurable activities - well, that's exactly the problem, nothing is pleasurable anymore.
Do you find that to be true or maybe I'm just too negative?
@VeraBorisova
I don't personally think, you can act like you don't have it.
People who don't sometimes don't understand just how debilitating it is.
When we are depressed, yes it's is hard to do the smallest things, but by not doing anything, we feel worse, we sink deeper.
Its about trying to do even the smallest things.
This will make you more confident when you feel better to keep trying, one step at a time.
For example, if we wash, we automatically feel more human.
If we eat, we feel more energised.
If we sit in the fresh air, we feel more uplifted .
They are not big tasks, and ones most people tahe for granted.
But they are monumental when you are depressed.
You need to be honest and feel what you need to buy equally not just give in to it completely, if nothing changes, nothing will ever change 💕💜
@Amanda84, thank you for taking the time to reply.
I guess I should have specified that I'm not talking about such severe cases of depression, when you don't shower or even eat. Then it's only logical to assume that you have to push yourself to do those things. My problem is more with high functioning depression. So do you think the way out is by pushing yourself to do the things you don't feel like doing?
I thought I don't eat especially healthy, don't exercise and find it tiring to socialise, because I'm depressed, but according to the advice for getting better it seems like it's the other way around.
@VeraBorisova
I don't think forcing yourself is the ideal way to go but it's getting to the core root of why you are feeling this way and putting healthy coping mechanisms into your daily life that enables you to feel better, rather than just accepting, this is the way it has to be 💜💕
@VeraBorisova
I think we, as a society, have grown so used to quick-fix solutions that we become easily—and unnecessary—discouraged when catchy phrases, like “fake it till you make it”, fail to deliver.
It took me years to untether myself from the latest “program” for happiness.
So … Do I think you’re being too negative? I’m not sure.
Do you believe there is some sort of solution out there for your depression?
While I don’t ascribe to “conventional wisdom” I do believe in an answer, and I believe it is (to varying degrees) unique for everyone.
Are you coming out of a situation that hasn’t been working for you? Or are you exploring options to relieve you of your depression?
@FaithfulScout, thank you for your comment. I'm actually looking for ideas on how to heal and I do believe there's got to be a solution. I've been in therapy for a while, but it hasn't helped that much, so you can say I'm exploring options. I agree that maybe the solution is unique for everyone, probably that's why it's so hard to find.
@VeraBorisova
Hi @VeraBorisova … I think your desire for healing and your willingness to explore options indicate to me a positivity and hopefulness. Just because you haven’t found your right path for healing doesn’t mean it is out of reach. I believe it’s now one step closer.
Until I found a community like 7cups, I was losing hope that my depression would ever go away. I felt like I had tried everything to make my life better: therapy, self-help books and seminars, different jobs/careers, making more money, psychiatric medications, doing art, trying different religions, meditating, exploring nature, exercise, and martial arts.
I hope you keep exploring here on 7cups, or if you find aothner helpuls avenue to take care of your depression, I would love to know about it.
If there is any way I can support you on your journey, please let me know!
@FaithfulScout, thank you! That's so kind of you to offer.
I've been here on 7cups for a while (since 2018) or at least I've been registered, although I haven't posted a lot and visited the site sporadically. Unfortunately, my desire for communication has been one thing that has suffered the most from my depression. Typically, I'm very introverted, but these days I just feel like I have nothing to say that's interesting, meaningful or worth saying at all. My mind just goes blank. But I'm forcing myself to open up and that's why I posted here. I'll try to do it more often 🙂
@VeraBorisova
Hey, I’m introverted too! (And so is my partner! My ex-wife, however, is very extroverted.)
Isolation is a big “killer” of the spirit, so I am very glad you reached out and posted your message. It stimulated my thinking about my depressive period. Like I said before, I think I tried everything to get rid of my depression (and anxiety too). The one thing that never failed me, was keeping an open mind, and that’s why I believe you will find your way too—whether it is developing confidence in your communication or getting extremely quiet with yourself.
Let me know which way you go ... or if you find another path 🙂
@VeraBorisova
I don't think you are too negative. Actually, the phenomenon you described is called "toxic positivity". It can be very invalidating, treating depression as "fake" or "imaginary".
You cannot expect someone with a broken leg to dance. But first, you usually go to a doctor to check if the leg is broken, or "just" bruised and swollen (the pain might be the same).
If it's broken (the depression is severe/clinical), the recovery may not come without medication.
If it's sprained (the depression is mild-to-medium and has roots in PTSD, violence, bad childhood or other traumas), you cannot walk on the first day, but with appropriate therapy things should be improving over time.
There happen people who _can_ walk with a broken leg (I was at work four hours after an accident until I realised my arm was broken), whereas some people (surprised or panicked) may tend to see the problems bigger than they really are—that is why it's good to talk to a professional.
When (in due time) you properly exercise a leg which was broken, full healing comes faster.
Also, a handful of people may become masters in self-sabotaging, and that should be taken into consideration.
Finally, some skills never come out of the blue. You might be a loner and an introverted person, and that is alright. But no socialising goes without trying. This is what cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is all about...
I think keeping some balanced attitude might be the best option 😊
@jacek73, thank you for sharing your thoughts.
It's not so much about toxic positivity as it is more about seeing the symptoms of depression as the reasons for it. I guess I wonder if the only way to heal the leg is by dancing or is there something else that can fix it, something that doesn't feel as forced or like going against yourself. But then again maybe it's just me looking for an easy way out.
@VeraBorisova
For example, if your depression makes you stay alone at home, while staying alone at home makes you more depressed, I believe it's about breaking this vicious circle, instead of spiraling down.
It can be also about how your body and mind are intertwined. Specifically, people following Buddhism may strongly believe in it: e.g. if anger or anxiety in your mind can make your body tremble, listening to your own breath or concentrating on your physical activity (like walking, or working in the garden) can soothe your mind.
But this is out of the official narrative, which often says that even mild depression should be cured with SSRIs, rarely mentioning side effects like withdrawal symptoms or brain zaps.
@VeraBorisova
What I meant is the power of positive thinking and a good company cannot unbreak your broken leg, but may help you to get rid of a headache 😉